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Fisher DeBerry, Air Force coach and member of Team Jesus, sees black people:

"It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well," DeBerry said in remarks first broadcast Tuesday night by KWGN-TV in Denver.

(Following words spoken in Steven Colbert Punditesque voice.) "DeBerry, already under scrutiny for his proselytizing in the Air Force Academy locker room, could face further heat over his racially insensitive remarks."

(Back to our smartass voice.)

Yeah, black people are fast, Fisher. But Afro-Americans? We're not so sure. We're pretty sure we could outrun Oscar Gamble, especially at this point.

A proud Afro-American about to vent his rage at Fisher DeBerry.