October 13, 2025

THE BIGGEST F’N GAME OF THE YEAR: LEINART ACTIVITYBLOG (UPDATED!!!)

In honor of the BIGGEST FUCKING GAME OF THE YEAR®, USC at Notre Dame, we decided to liveblog the daily activities of the MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING PLAYER® of our time, Matt Leinart, subject of endless puff pieces and other media ball-washings who also happens to a be a great quarterback and normal guy. Who dated Alyssa Milano. And may or may not have Nick Lachey as a roommate. And has his own security detail. That’s all…enjoy our own pastry-light ESPN Mag-style livejournal covering the daily rounds of one Trojan qb.

10:24 a.m. Matt Leinart doesn’t live on your time, homeslice. He lives on West Coast time, which you East Coasters sometimes call “Left Coast Time.” But ever since he suited up as an unheralded sophomore starter for the Trojans, time’s been a little fuzzy for Leinart, as fuzzy as the adorable shaggy half-fro imitated by countless admiring fans, a hairdo known these days simply as: The Leinart.

We might stop calling it West Coast time at all; for now, it is truly Leinart Standard Time in L.A., and we are all wearing a shaggy afro of admiration for the man/boy/god who walks among us in size 22XXXXXLLL shoes.

He’s Matt Leinart, and you’re not.

Leinart sleeps now-oh, how he sleeps! In fact, as we write this, Leinart won’t be awake for another three, perhaps four hours depending on his whimsy and the demands of his powerful, needy body. But the sleep he sleeps isn’t that of mortal men. No; Leinart’s sleep is the slumber of a champion. Your sleep offers your brain a chance to process raw information in cheap, tawdry metaphors: falling, sex fantasies, the cheap exchanges of meager minds. Leinart departs the golden chariot of his body in sleep to achieve things, pick apart the most arcane defenses, and perhaps even rule alternate worlds with a strong but benevolent hand before returning to complete his work here on Earth.
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Filed under: College football  by Orson Swindle

DAVIE PICKS NOTRE DAME. ND FANS GIVE COLLECTIVE FINGER, THROW DUNG AT DAVIE

More news about the BIGGEST GAME OF THE FUCKING CENTURY®!

In his ESPN chat Bob Davie picked Notre Dame to win. Notre Dame consequently prepares for ass-reaming loss to USC, praying for a Corso pick for USC to balance the cosmic scales of relative jinxes, all while giving “spiky poo” Davie the finger and tossing a hailstorm of human waste at his sunburnt visage.

Davie, Corso…a pick for the Irish from EDSBS, and a Trojan victory would be all but guaranteed.

Broadcasting from his home somewhere near an open blast furnace, Davie confidently picks Notre Dame over USC Saturday.



Filed under: College football, Notre Dame, Pacific 10 Conference  by Orson Swindle

5-1? NOT SO BAD, ACCORDING TO THE NUMBERS

Josh McClain of Fanblogs gives us a good piece of evidence to use in rebuttal of the “Fire Urban” sports sociopath crowd in the Gator Nation: Florida not only has the 4th most difficult schedule in the nation, but also holds the second best record in the top ten most difficult schedules at 5-1.

Skeptic’s note: we have to question the methodology of a study, though, that places 5-0 Texas Tech in the top ten most difficult schedules. They played the Texas State Fightin’ Armadillos, for christ’s sake. And their kicker’s not only a girl, she’s terrible.



Filed under: Big 12 Conference, College football, Southeastern Conference  by Orson Swindle

TIME WANTS PRICE SETTLEMENT THROWN OUT

Time Inc., the parent company for Sports Illustrated, has filed papers with the court requesting its confidential settlement with Mike Price be thrown out and the case be dismissed. Further pissing on Price’s cheerios, Time is requesting that Price be forced to pay their fees as well. The basis of the dispute is that Time is alleging that Price and his lawyer violated the confidentiality of the agreement when Price held a press conference in which he said he was vindicated and that the settlement was a great victory.

Like another famous Mike before him, just as Price thought he was out, they pull him back in.



Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri  by Stranko Montana

STRANGER THAN FICTION DEPARTMENT #1538

During the Katrina evacuation, LSU qb JaMarcus Russell had 15 people sleeping in his apartment. The guy sleeping on the couch? New Orleans piano legend and singer Fats Domino. Read Pat Dooley’s article here.

Update: this St. Pete Times article says there were 19(!) people sleeping in Russell’s apartment, including Fats, who “wasn’t in the mood to sing.”



Filed under: Southeastern Conference  by Orson Swindle

PLEASE LET THIS COME TRUE…

Please, Lord, let this be true: Rick Neuheisel has been contacted about the Temple job. Take it Rick! You’re the man! It’s the perfect job for a reprobate weasel molder of champions like yourself! Goooooo Owls!



Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Mid Major Conferences  by Orson Swindle

SOLON’S HOT-DON’T STOP, GET IT GET IT

Solon, climbing the long climb out of a deep well of early season misfortune, is seeing daylight with a 32-31 record at this point, despite losing the statistical anomaly of a game that was Cal/UCLA 2005. So no bellyaching about the ghosts of poonanny lost this week-just straight picks from a sailor who just felt the wind blow his way. He pulls himself away long enough from the Caesar’s sportsbook and a conversation with his good friend and longtime Caesar’s denizen Evel Knievel to drop his picks off for the week.

Despite the content of my column last week, it really is poor form to bitch about tough beats. The point being, shit evens out over the course of the season, and when someone bitches about tough losses it’s very shitbird because they’ll tend to gloss over all the times they’ve gotten lucky wins.

So, instead of bitching, let me just present some information. Last Saturday night, I had Cal +1 1/2 points against UCLA. At no point in the game were they behind the number-until the game was over. I can just imagine the scene after the last play of the game in the Hilton Sportsbook in Vegas. Hell, it’s such a miracle occurrence that I’m almost not pissed about losing the bet, just blown away by that crazy stat.

Has that ever happened before? This is what you need-you have to have a ‘dog, or they’d be down at the start. Then, the ‘dog has to be in control the whole game, at least to the point where they never fall behind the number. Then, the favorite needs to score the spread-covering points on the last play of the game. This might have happened at some point in CFB history, but I haven’t seen it.

All right, I have picked 63 games this season and nicked the odd game, so I’m on the right side of the ledger for the first time this season at 32-31. I’ll try to keep it on the plus side the rest of the way.

Evel’s hoping Solon doesn’t crash and burn this week with a full slate of picks.

Here are this week’s picks:

South Florida (+2.5) v. PITTSBURGH
Pitt is just flat-out bad, that’s all there is to it. Their two wins are over 1-AA Youngstown State and Cincinnati, the worst team in the Big East. South Florida, on the other had, has performed well against what has turned out to be a good schedule. (more…)



Filed under: College football  by Orson Swindle

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