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QB OR ASSASSIN?

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Bama Report chimes in a tidy summary of the Tide's contentious victory over Southern Miss, marked most notably by the ovation Coach Mike Shula received when he took Brodie Croyle, the Tide's oft-injured prodigy of a quarterback, out of the game with a lead in the fourth and allowed him to rest on his favorite fainting couch on the sidelines.

But we didn't just write this to use the phrase "fainting couch" and "Brodie Croyle" in the same sentence--though it's a nice side benefit. No, we wanted to quote Bama Report's fascinating observation regarding backup qb J0hn Parker Wilson:

In the second half, the offense caught up somewhat but there’s no doubt that the loudest cheer of the game was for Coach Shula...for benching Our Blessed Saint of Rainbow City with a fourth quarter lead and letting John Parker Wilson (whose name could either push his career path toward Southern school’s quarterback or Presidential assassin) eat the lone sack Alabama’s prepubescent offensive line allowed.

We'd like to mention the famous "Wayne Corollary" to this rule, which proposes that if you give a male child three names with the middle one being "Wayne", then said child will commit a capital offense of no less than first-degree manslaughter at least once sometimes in the course of their lives, or at least make an appearance shirtless and high on PCP on "Cops."