Crimsn TiDe-GET IT?
Ian posts an inimitable top 25 on Sexy-Results.
19. Alabama
- Call ‘em the Crimsn TiDe. You’ll figure it out.
Lots of free time in law school. Lots.
August 22, 2025
HARRIS POLL VOTERS ARE SELECTED
Well, the continued ignoring of the blogpoll by the BCS committee continues as it has named the voters for the AP replacement Harris Poll and we are no where to be found. Oh well, the fate of USC and Auburn won’t be in my hands this year again, but rather will be in the hands of the likes of Terry Bradshaw, Lou Holtz, Steve Largent, Anthony Munoz, Rocket Ismail, Boomer Esiason, Don Maynard, Lee Roy Selmon, Craig Morton, Spike Dykes, Gerry DiNardo, Foge Fazio and none other than BCS champion Roy Kramer. I hope at least some of these guys watch college football.
PUSHING RSS SCRIPTERS TO THE BREAKING POINT: ROUNDUP
Things are now spinning at such a velocity in the college football universe we’re having a difficulty keeping up, even with four cups of coffee rushing through our veins our already ADD-prone system. (That fucking RSS scripter won’t update fast enough!!!) The weekend produced it’s normal treasure trove of comment-rich, information-deficient stories (that Terence Moore piece on ND being one of the most egregious we’ve read in a while,) but some useful stuff did get through the sifter.
For example, don’t you want to be reminded of exactly how much talent you’re missing due to players flunking out of class? Of course you do. We’ve emailed you a free kick in the nuts for extra measure, on the house for a valued customer like you.
CRANK YANKERS, PENN STATE ADDITION.
Starting Penn State linebacker Dan Connor has been suspended from the team indefinitely for making harassing phone calls. Once the coaching staff “has all the facts” two others, receiver Jim Kanuch and safety Nolan McCready, could feel the wrath of Joe Pa as well. No word yet on which player was doing the bad Special Ed impression.
STILL NOT EXCITED ABOUT TEXAS/OSU?
If you’re not excited about Texas/OSU coming up, you’re an idiot and here’s why. Slug. Fest. A-comin’. (Michigan fans, turn your eyes away from the images of two teams beating guys up in maize and blue. Nothing to see here…)
Vince Young: Michigan’s Tommie Frazier.
TERENCE MOORE: WAKE UP THE ECHOES! (AGAIN.)
The AJC’s underwhelming list of sports columnists includes Terence Moore, who reads straight from the Irish SID’s boilerplate here.
For real entertainment, though, read the commentary following the mealy column, where you may remind yourself of why we don’t have forums built into this website.
LAWRENCE PHILLIPS, COMMUNITY OUTREACH WORKER
Lawrence Phillips, fresh from another domestic violence charge, files for an addendum to his rap sheet by running his car into three teenagers in Los Angeles on Sunday following a pick-up football game argument.
CFN DEFENSIVE RANKINGS: ‘CANES NO. 1
Remember defense? Yeah, the guys not having a “revolution” right now? They still play a third of the game, and CFN just can’t stop the glazomania with their ranking of all 119 teams’ defensive units. (We don’t know how scientific that is, though; qualitatively, is anyone going to be splitting hairs over whether Eastern Michigan’s D (#118) is any worse than Florida International’s (#119)? We imagine Fiutak and Zemek slapping each other in the face with white gloves and vowing to meet with pistols at dawn over things like this.)
Matt, your choice of UL Monroe over North Texas at #110 offends my soul. Draw!
Miami gets the top nod, stocked as they are with a bottomless supply of ball-hawking safeties, at least one whirling dervish of a linebacker a year, and identical bludgeoning defensive tackles to rotate on the line. We just miss when the NCAA would let them dance after touchdowns during games and party with Luther Campbell after games. Ahh, how we miss the good ole days at Miami, when players would fire guns out of their dorm windows to celebrate victories…
BFT: THE GAY FOOTBALL FAN’S GUIDE TO 2005.
Boi From Troy presents one of the funniest guides to the college season you’ll read this year, his very own “Gay Man’s Guide to College Football 2005.” If not amused by the many pictures of man-ass and Boi’s cheeky commentary, you can at least marvel at the sheer jackedness of Florida LB Brian Crum, whose pectoral muscles are the size of country hams.
Jacked.
