August 15, 2025

INTERESTING SCHEDULING NOTE

One thing we learned from the collegial bickering between Pat Forde and Ivan Maisel that we didn’t know: Notre Dame, in an effort to lighten their schedule, turned down a bid for a home-and-home from-tada!-Auburn, the same people notorious for scheduling the Citadel and Northwestern Multidirectional Tech State. There’s one major program taking the easy street back to prominence, and an interesting counterexample to the “supermodel scheduling” trend which may or may not exist in college football.

ROBERT JOHNSON NAMED STARTER AT ARKANSAS. UP JUMPED THE DEVIL.

Robert Johnson was named the starting qb at Arkansas, only confirming that Houston Nutt’s tenuous grip on sanity seems to be slipping, since Johnson will have been dead for almost sixty-seven years as of tomorrow. Despite the disadvantages of being what Razorback coaches call “vitality-impaired,” Johnson did score higher on the Wunderlich than loping freak and current Jacksonville Jaguars WR Matt Jones did in his time in Fayetteville, prompting Nutt to proclaim Johnson’s triumph of the depth chart as “a victory for the oxygen-deficient everywhere.” Johnson planned to celebrate by moaning, paying his debt to the devil, and satisfying his endless thirst for brains before the day was through.

We here at EDSBS have heard no mention of plans for Ralph Macchio to be involved in a crappy movie about the Razorback qb’s life.

BOB DAVIE, SUNSCREEN, SUNSCREEN, BOB DAVIE

Newly recabled, we saw Bob Davie on ESPN this weekend and wondered if he’d been left on broil for a minute too long:

Holy age marks, Batman!

FSU QUARTERBACK UPDATE: BOTH RUN A 4.2 FORTY.

Drew Weatherford and Xavier Lee battle it out in the heat of Tallahassee, one of the few places in America that can claim to be genuinely stank-miserable Africa hot. (Columbia, South Carolina is another-believe us on this one, we work with Africans, and they say the same thing.) The best thing about the article? Finding out that Xavier Lee, in addition to once throwing the ball 70 yards off one knee, ripped the gloves of Antonio Cromartie last year with a hard-thrown pass. (?!?!) No word on whether
both qbs run 4.2s.

Can knock the gloves off a man with a football and , like every skill player at FSU, of course, runs a 4.2.

OKLAHOMA QUARTERBACK RACE TOO CLOSE TO CALL

This fall there is a battle taking place in Norman over who will succeed Jason White, who spent the last decade and a half quarterbacking the Sooners. Will it be Paul Thompson or Rhett Bomar this fall? Reports indicate that it is still too close to call, but we here at EDSBS are hoping it will be Bomar, if only because he wore track pants on test days in high school.

RED RAIDERS TO GO MONDO-RED

The Red Raiders, who stole a play from the Glanville school of program improvement and changed their uniforms to “Intimidating Black” in the Mike Leach era, are going to be bleeding red in at least a few games this year, according to FanBlogs. While there are no photos of the red pants and red jerseys yet, we have an idea of what they might look like: a screaming case of herpes with legs.

NO ROSE PETALS FOR FOLEY

Ben Maller thinks Ron Zook is a petty, bitter cromag, too.

TREV ALBERTS ON BSU/UGA

Tony Barnhart quotes some of college football’s luminous punditry on Georgia Tech and UGA’s first matchups with Auburn and Boise State, respectively. They’re saying much of the same things you’ve heard all offseason long on the internet, save for two things, one stupid and one actual insight. Start with the insightful, coming from Jim Donnan:

I’ve seen Boise State in person, and while their offense is talented, their defense is very small. I think they will have a tough time against Georgia’s size. That, and the heat, is going to be a real problem for them.

There’s the first pundit we’ve seen, online or otherwise, who mentions both sides of the ball in the same piece. Boise will get pushed around in this game, which is why in the second half Georgia will do just enough to win-by three, exactly.

We’d gone for a while without a good nugget from Trev “Lead Poisoning” Alberts, but thirst no more! He’s back, and still hammering away at his Fisher-Price My First Pundit’s Construction Set. Regardez this piece of gibberish:

Georgia should be able to line the ball up, run it 45 times and win the game 55-17. But you just don’t know. This is going to be an interesting year for Georgia with all the great players and all the great leaders that they lost. If they get behind, you don’t know what’s going to happen. Boise State will be ready to play when they come to Athens.

We tried to map out exactly what Trev said here, and rephrased, it comes out something like this:

That cat is totally going to eat that injured parakeet lying on the ground. but you never know, like, maybe the cat’s distracted or something, or thinking about licking its ass, or tuna or something. That parakeet is totally going to be ready for that cat, man-talons out!

Whether parakeets actually have talons, well, we imagine they don’t. Whether Trev has foam corners on all of his furniture at home or not, well…perhaps he should.

Eats with cork on the end of his fork?

THE INJURY BUG ATTACKS!

As teams move through fall practices, fans around the country are holding their breath hoping now major injuries befall their program. Florida State already took a major hit by losing Cromartie for the season while others have been more fortunate. Last week, however, was unkind to a couple of programs. LSU lost running back Alley Broussard for the season. LSU is still in good shape, with Joseph Addai at the top of the depth chart and Justin Vincent pushing him for carries.

Maryland’s best offensive lineman, Stephon Heyer, is done for the year thanks to an ACL tear.

Kentucky’s sophomore running back Tony Dixon broke his leg, sidelining him for the year.

As for Alabama’s injuries, check out the bama report for a chronicle, which includes Joe Kines (Age that doth ravage all man) and Mike Shula (stage fright). Good Stuff.


The most frightening pest this time of year for football fans, the injury bug.

©2008 EveryDayShouldBeSaturday.com - Privacy Policy
EDSBS is proudly powered by WordPress
The page was generated in 0.680 seconds with 25 queries.