clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

BOWDEN CLAIMS MEMBERSHIP IN TEAM JESUS, WANTS COOLER UNIFORMS.

Bobby Bowden has many endorsement deals, most notably with Nike, who makes his funny-looking "blotchy-cracker-on-big-game-hunt" hats. Bowden makes another endorsement deal of a different sort by boldly coming out of the closet as a Christian in support of another Christian coach, Fisher DeBerry at Air Force. DeBerry was forced to take down a banner reading "I am a member of Team Jesus Christ" from the locker room last season, a story usually mentioned in conjunction with an ongoing Pentagon investigation of religious intolerance at the academy.
We must agree with the move for a simple reason: the phrase "Team Jesus" inevitably makes us think about what Team Jesus's uniforms would look like. Imagine: if you put one team on the field in white jerseys with gold trim reading "Team Jesus", and then put a team out there in jerseys reading "Team Satan," "Team Kali the Destroyer," etc, their players decked out in red with flaming trim and black helmets with visors...well, on sight we're putting our money on the evil guys. (Never mind the fact that we're gambling in this hypothetical, which according to a smattering of people puts us on the express elevator to hell, anyway.) This is the opposite of what someone is supposed to think when confronted with a "Team Jesus" t-shirt, right? And don't bring up the idea of a mascot, since a lamb on the sidelines doesn't exactly instill fear in the hearts of men like a red devil holding a pitchfork and shooting flames from his nose. You might as well pick something ridiculous like a turkey, a rodent, or a possessed lay member of the clergy...

Warner Robins High School, GA: Actually are Demons, as well as 4-time state champs. (And yes, their uniforms are coooool.)