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THE MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL

The Meineke Car Care Bowl is here. Please, calm down. It's not like they've announced a playoff system or anything. I can't wait for the Zyprexa Marbles Bowl (Zyprexa-helping you keep your marbles since 1996!) or the Oxi-Clean Sparkle Bowl, featuring halftime entertainment by a lone, elderly Oak Ridge Boy and the Shelby County, TN Drill Team. Why don't we give Boise a second bowl game? Or better yet, let's have one in Oaxaca, with amateur Mexican rodeo at halftime? They can clean up the bodies by the start of the third quarter. Labor's cheap down there! Or the Intel Outsource Bowl, live from Bangalore? Notre Dame's gotta take the invitation, and we hear those fans really travel well.
I can't wait to hear the thinly veiled contempt of the ESPN announcers assigned to the hinterlands to cover the games-it's like you can hear the ice clinking in their glasses they stole from the Hampton Inn. The new Sisyphus of the sports broadcasting world is Bill Curry of ESPN, slogging his way through the third quarter of the Insight.com/Tangerine/Butter Bowl game, watching fifth seed ACC/Pac-10 scrub get killed by equally mediocre but lucky Pac-10/ACC fourth seed scrub, just hoping someone will club him over the head with a blackjack and end the misery.
Insert miserable, frustrated pro-playoff comment here...