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SPURRIER CLEANS UP SC: HOLTZ RETURN TO LAIR...

We wondered what the hell was going on at South Carolina starting with the whole brawl last year with Clemson, which began as friendly grab-your-mask and-yell football scrapping and degenerated into a crowd-silencing melee in a matter of seconds. (Click here for the stomach-churning shot of Yusef Kelly "defending himself" against an SC player. Did we mention the player is lying face down on the ground while Kelly kicks him in the head? And that he's not wearing a helmet?)

Then four players-including the team's starting qb-were busted for stealing equipment out of the SC lockerroom. Then Demetris Summers, SC's leading rusher, was kicked off the team, allegedly for getting hiiiiiigggghhhher than a Gamecock should. Feeling left out of all the attention, Moe Thompson breaks into a dorm and steals some shit just to keep pace with his spotlight-hogging teammates.(Citizens of Columbia, rest easy! Thompson turned himself in to the po-po.)

We were going to summarize all of this for you in greater detail, but someone's already done it for us here . What the hell was Holtz doing? We think we know, but we'll lay out the case point by point:

1. Stranger enters town, promising great things...
2. Gets town tantalizingly close to great things...
3. Stranger corrupts town...
4. Town feels somewhat cheated....

We'd say that we think we've seen this before, but if you clicked on the gamecockssuck.com link above, you know this can't be true.