Tag: schnelly-got-that-country-grammar

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AN AUTOGRAPH JUST AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE

One of our Georgia-based tipsters reports from Atlanta Magazine's "Best of Atlanta" party earlier this week: . . . they had these two Fender Stratocaster-"esque" guitars, one signed by Saban and...

URBAN MEYER IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

Of all the loose threads still dangling free from the tattered border separating the fabric of the season from the long, bland sheet of the offseason, the status of Urban Meyer has to be the most...

JIM TRESSEL'S PRIORITIES: PUNTING, PANTS

The Big Ten has concerns, like having one All-American, saving money by throwing nickels at low-wattage coaching hires, and making sure cable subscribers have full access to 24 hours of women's...

HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER'S TOP 25

1. Suspenders. They just don't stop doing their good work. 2. Road flares. Been savin' me money on electricity for years, and they light a pipe like no one's business. 3. Roberta Flack. Ah,...

HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER'S TOP 25, WEEK WHATEVER, SONNY

1. Suspenders, for the 746th week in a row. 2. Whole Plums. Codgers swear by prunes, but the pits are key. The digestive aid you can hear working. 3. Ted's Drive-thru Smoked Fish, Liquor, and Mens...

HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER'S COACHES POLL BALLOT, WEEK EIGHT

1. Suspenders. For the 39th week in a row. 2. Kansas. Liking the way that young man runs his football team. Even with that glandular disorder. 3. Mules. Loyal. Trustworthy. Cook up well if you...

HOWARD SCHELLENBERGER'S COACHES POLL BALLOT

1. Suspenders, for the 38th week in a row. 2. Horseshoes. I eat one a week whether I need it or not. For the iron, mostly, but sometimes just for the taste. 3. SMU. Knocking them back a notch or...

CURIOUS INDEX, 9/10/09

It's not vomiting, it's discharging excess pimp juice. Riley Cooper, Florida WR, sharing some of his inner awesomeness with the turf at Florida Field during the game with Charleston Southern. C...

HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER MAKES AN ENTRANCE

We don't know what secrets reside in Howard Schnellenberger's voice, particularly in its lower registers: the location of German submarines loaded with Nazi gold, the authorship of the Nazca...

HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER'S TOP 25

The following is Howard Schellenberger's unrevised, unedited top 25 ballot as submitted to the coaches' poll. 1. SMU. Just an unstoppable program. My pick for the 32nd year in a row. 2. Okinawa....

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