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recruiting

14

GOOD MORNING, RECRUIT BORN TO BE A COMMANDO WEATHERMAN

Whatever your parents named you sucks. Storm Johnson. Middle name? TRAINFIST. In all caps.

23

RECRUITING VIOLATIONS HAVE A CODGER EXEMPTION

In the Kiffin family casting call, Monte usually gets off easy. Lane is Nelson Biederman the 4th, spoiled, entitled, and headed for some form of prison or downfall; Ed Orgeron is the wacky uncle...

24

MEYER USING THE SKYCAKE DODGE TO RECRUIT

Urban Meyer will use whatever flavor of skycake necessary to get a recruit. Atheist: "Kid, there's just one life, right? Don't fuck it up by going to Florida State. Cause, you know, it's not like...

37

RECRUIT HIM OR LOSE OUT BAMA

Recruit him or don't. If you're a pawn, you stay a pawn, even if you're a smart-ass pawn. The king stay the king. (via Brian.)

88

AWWW ME SO STALK-Y AWW AWW ME SO STALK-Y

Sittin' at home with Coach O and Monte So I found a recruit and I sent him a hot-taaay Picked up the telephone, then dialed the 7 digits Said, "Yo, this Lane, baby! Are you down with it?" Sent...

15

GREAT MOMENTS IN JUXTAPOSITION

Georgia commit and highly esteemed recruit Garrison Smith is a devout Christian who has decided to remain abstinent until he finds his future wife. We did the same thing, but not by choice, of...

9

HE'S HE'S VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE IMPRESSIVE

We'll give a call to Berlin to see if he's real. It's totally worth it. The Berlin Adler are a very real team of the grade referred to as semi-pro here in the United States, and are good enough to...

17

TOO FAT TO RANK, TOO BIG TO IGNORE

GIMMEH STARS!. Chad Lindsay, according to Rivals, is an unranked prospect too obese to consider in the Rivals 250. Chad Lindsay is also a University of Alabama commit who chose the Tide over 19...

22

MUSCLEBOY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU LIKE A SON

A mid-sized suburban home in Michigan. An unusually wiry boy plays with ten pound weights and does bored pullups on a small pull-up bar. Mother: Well, he's a normal boy in every other way. He just...

32

BRYCE BROWN DECLARES FOR UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX

Correction: Brown actually chose Tennessee. They pay slightly less than the deal reported below. KANSAS--(AP) Uber-recruit Bryce Brown stunned the college football world today in announcing his...

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