Tag: paterno

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BUY JOEPA'S GLASSES, LEAVE POOR OLD MAN BLIND

7

Go buy Joe Pa's glasses, which are not only autographed by him, but were taken off his head by a Penn State student. Paterno has no plans to get new glasses, and will instead soldier through the...

DEAR JOE PATERNO

23

Dear Joe, Hello, friend! I haven't dropped you a line in a month ah Sundays! Howza the ah-spaghetti, paisano! I just fuhst wanted to congratulate you on yah recent contract extension. If you spent...

VISITING LECTURER: RUN UP THE SCORE

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Teams: there are a lot of them. In our effort to bring you the finest "bullshit" coverage of college football, our Visiting Lecturer Series today welcomes Penn State blogger and zombie aficionado R...

CURIOUS INDEX, 3/5/08

26

LSU defensive monster Ricky Jean-Francois is allegedly related to Kimbo Slice. We mention this only to affirm your already solid suspicion that if he does not cheat on another test and...

VIEWER'S GUIDE, WEEK TEN: DOWN THE STRETCH

60

Two months in the can, one to go, folks, before 2007 is a misremembered, revisionist fog. Get every bit you can while you can. That is an order (Nevada-New Mexico State optional): Remember the...

PENN STATE HAS FECES MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS

56

AAAHHH! RUN!!! In the Big Ten, the shit will hit the fan on Saturday night as a classic nexus of Big Ten football, Brent Musburger, and wholesome, sausage-downing fandom meet in Happy Valley as...

VIEWER'S GUIDE, WEEK EIGHT: RESIGN FROM YOUR FAMILY TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH THE SEC

82

Guest editor Hannibal Montegna with the weekend in televised mayhem: Southerns think the world revolves around SEC football every day of the week, and for once, they’re right. Saturday serves up...

JOSEPH PATERNO ARRESTED FOR COKE

32

Wait...holy smoking popes. Mike Vick can be found running a Man v. Bear fighting operation in Port-au-Prince and it wouldn't be bigger than Joe Paterno getting arrested for this. We mean...this is...

NITTANY LIONS BANISHED FOREVER TEMPORARILY WHATEVER

19

The Penn State Apartment Brawl Thingy--earning Penn State a forty-plus pointer originally in the Fulmer Cup Standings--has dwindled now to a mere 20 or so points, depending on the variety of legal...

PATERNO: NOT OPTIMISITC, ACCORDING TO PAPER

29

Hang the copy editor! In an article about the difficulties of ever scheduling the currently defunct Pitt/Penn State series again, a copy editor phones it in, but not from a land line, and most...

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