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WEEK ELEVEN PICKS, PRIUS EDITION

Image source: Clay Travis. Holly's in transit today, so picks will just have to be up to yours truly. As we have no problem talking to the air itself, let's get this monologue underway without...

ASK THE BIG 10 COMMISH: LAID-BACK ADVICE FROM THE UNFLUSTERABLE JIM DELANY

Worried about the Big 10's recent habit of face-planting in high-profile out-of-conference games? Jim Delany isn't: "In any particular time frame, could be three years, could be five years, could...

29 ALTERNATE NAMES FOR COLT MCCOY

You will get tired of hearing his name, especially when ABC begins to pump its Big 12 lineup starting in October and you start looking LIVE at Brent Musburger's face-plant into the Big 12 South...

DO YOU NEED A PILLOW, COACH RICHT?

Please, Coach Richt. Sit down. Would you like a pillow? You would? That couch is awfully firm, I know. Yes, it probably would hurt your back if you slept on it. Ouch! What sleep number are you? A...

THE THRILL OF VICTORY, SHANE, THE SENSATION OF TRAMPLING ON AN ENEMY

A shaded shed on the grounds of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. Shane Matthews, former Gator quarterback and radio commentator, wakes to find himself bound to a backboard. ALBERT THE ALLIGATOR stares at...

CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS COVERS THE NATIONAL TITLE GAME

Christopher Hitchens was paid $45,000 for one night's work in Miami for the 2009 BCS National Title game by ESPN's Page 2. The piece was judged unusable, and has not seen the light of day...until...

KIFFYKINS KIFFYKINS KIFFYKINS KIFFYKINS

You...you're probably not high enough to watch this video. Too bad, because we now imagine this playing in Lane Kiffin's head on a perpetual loop as he totes his huge, white, cartoon-paneled head...

LI'L RED'S ADVENTURES IN TIME: OH THE BALLOONITY

We have an unhealthy obsession with the inflatable secondary mascot for Nebraska, "Li'l Red." Sometimes he does his little palsied "dead-girl-from-The Ring" into a wormhole located in a cornfield...

JIM TRESSEL'S VACATION: PART 3

In part three of Jim Tressel's Vacation, a.k.a. Where in the World is Carmen, OhioSanDiego: A cheap, weathered envelope sits in the mailbox in Ohio. It is covered with numerous inscrutable...

JIM TRESSEL'S VACATION, PART TWO

A phone rings in a large, darkened house in Ohio. A worried looking woman picks up the phone. Woman: Hello? Man's voice on bad, third-world connection: Hey, honey. It's Jim. Woman: Jim...just tell...

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