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KIFFYKINS STRIKES AGAIN, AGAIN

22

Kiffykins rides again! It's now a running bet that he has a whole stack of Archie comics under his bed, and that he'd beat off any number of men to protect them. UPDATE: Ole Miss has a...

CURIOUS INDEX, 2/17/2009

12

Sweet wounded Jesus. Florida State, Where Talent Goes To Die, will be killing once-promising players off fast and furious in 2009, with eleven 2008 bowl teams on the schedule. ...hang in...

EYEWITNESSES CORROBORATE: DRUNKENNESS CAN LEAD TO BAD THINGS

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We have an anonymous account of the poor, wretched sorority girl who beshat herself at the national title game, and we found it intriguing both for its clinical description of the situation, its...

VIDAL HAZELTON GETS THE MARVE TREATMENT

41

The yearly tweaking of the rules is now on the docket, and let us humbly propose one rule in sore need of tweakage: the transfer rule, a bit of earth-salting schools may use on recruits who...

BAMA'S ANDRE SMITH OUT FOR BOWL GAME

22

He is clearly allergic to Brandon Spikes, but most football players on the offensive side of the ball share this medical condition. Now what we've found yet another way to express our undying love...

A COMEBACK THAT WAS NOT A COMEBACK

34

Troy is good, Troy is good, Troy is good. Get that out of the way before we begin denigrating LSU's 41-30 victory over Troy Saturday night, a skillfully played game between two Division One (FBS...

GUEST COLUMNIST: LAUNCHPAD MCQUACK, SEX ADDICT, ON THE PAC-10

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So I was running the Sweaty Wishbone with this Filipina in the back of her car the other day when I thought: this girl has got some fight in her! Just like the Arizona defense. They're eighteenth...

TIDE FANS, PLEASE SPARE THE NOBLE ELEPHANT.

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Please, Alabama fan: don't shoot. Please, people of Alabama: have mercy upon the endangered elephant. As we speak, you or one of your brethren is crouched in the bed of a safari truck, aiming a...

A TALE OF TWO TAILS

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From COED magazine, brah, the finest publication for dyslexic code freaks and fans of HOT COLLEGE BABES WHO WOULDN'T FUCK YOU WITH A GUN TO THEIR HEADS, an attractive woman from the LSU/Florida...

BUFFALO WINGS OF DESIRE: A PLAY IN SIX ACTS

34

You might wonder: how does an overeducated Volunteer fan feel about the game? How does "hallucinating in the key of Wim Wenders sound?" to you? If the answer is "too bizarre for digestion," then...

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