crazier--than--sack--of--weasels Stories - Every Day Should Be Saturday
ROCK CHALK GIGGITY HAWK
Hooo--wee! Thinking about gettin' some Kansas Va-Jay-Jay-hawk on this hog-willie! GIGGITY! Make 'em shell out for the HOUSTON DALE EXPERIENCE! Ducats in my bucket for the Nutt-get! Wouldn't have to grocery shop for weeks what with Mangino's leftovers cloggin' the office. Shit, it probably looks...
BLOGPOLLIN': ONE ATROCIOUS BALLOT
Notes follow. We blame reality. Rank Team 1 Alabama 2 Florida 3 Texas 4 Houston 5 Boise State 6 Ohio State 7 Virginia Tech 8 Oregon 9 Cincinnati 10 Iowa 11 Oklahoma 12 Southern Cal 13 Miami (Florida) 14 Oklahoma...
A TALE OF TWO PREGAME SPEECHES
The Ole Miss lockerroom in Columbia, SC, Thursday, September 24th just prior to kickoff. There is the sound of a church organ humming from an indistinct spot somewhere in the locker room. HOUSTON NUTT enters surrounded by a choir of African-American ladies. Count Giggity: GIGGITAH,...
THE HAL MUMME COACHING TREE: MORE OF A SHRUB, REALLY
If you're an SEC fan of a certain vintage, you probably have vivid memories of former Kentucky head coach Hal Mumme: looked like Ted Danson's awkward younger brother, called plays like a desperate bizarro-world Steve Spurrier, and was characterized by the near-constant presence of a jaunty neck...
HE'S TANNED, HE'S RESTED, HE'S READY . . . OK, ONE OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD
The U.S. House of Representatives certainly has never had a shortage of complete nutcakes, but ever since former Rep. Tom Osborne (R-NE) declined to run for re-election in 2006 (in favor of an ultimately unsuccessful run for governor), it has been regrettably short on former coaching legends....
CURIOUS INDEX, 8/4/09
F$#@ Sooners, get money. Packing two of the last three national-title trophies and gunning for another one in '09, Urban Meyer is getting a raise that will jack his salary up to an even $4 million a year, meaning that not only Urban but entire future generations of Meyers will be makin'...
DANDIES' COURT: THE HOUSTON NUTT COVER
Sir Stanley: Gentlemen! I seek philosophical entertainment! Elrick, Duke of Necessity: Certainly. Today's fox: What is sexy? Discuss! Sir Stanley: Why sir, I had no idea you would play right into my hands! In my studies of the colonies and their primitive yet exotic derivative of our own culture,...
GIGGITY HOSANNA ON HIGH
A crowded church in Oxford, Mississippi. The slow sizzle of tambourines and magisterial rumble of a church organ roil in the background. A choir stands waving its hands heavenward in the air. PASTOR HOUSTON NUTT approaches the podium. Nutt: MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!! CAN AH GET A...
YOUR UGLY WINNING STRATEGY BROUGHT TO YOU BY URBAN MEYER
Houston Nutt, professional coach. This is only marginally about him, but the picture is too good not to lead with here. Thanks: J. The current turnover total for Florida on the year: zero, a number instructive for those of us kvetching and kvelling about the offense thus far, and its lack of...
POWE-VERDRIVE BABY!!! GIGGITY!!!
One time, I was trying to fix the HVAC in my house. I like to fix things because my father liked to fix things. One time he fixed a sick goat by throwing it off the roof of the house during an electrical storm. It hit the ground and stopped moving. Fixed. Giggity. I asked my father if the goat was...
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