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Where does Auburn go to get its reputation back?

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Where does Auburn go to get its reputation back?

We don't know, Kevin Scarbinsky, since Auburn's reputation before the Cam Newton scandal was pretty much the same in the eyes of everyone not claiming Tigerplainseagle citizenship. Also, everyone NOT in the SEC thinks every school cheats constantly, so if Auburn really wants its old reputation back, it would get Gene Chizik caught promising a player money on tape, and then assume its former glory. As of right now, this is the NCAA saying there was no evidence of any wrongdoing. Danny Sheridan's waiting for a thank-you for cleaning up your rep, Auburn. He's still waiting, right there at the underpass he shares with his seven pet chinchillas and an invisible Inca king he refers to as "Potatoface the 6th."

The Ragin' Cajuns plan on getting wet in Lafayette, and they don't want to be caught off-guard when...

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The Ragin' Cajuns plan on getting wet in Lafayette, and they don't want to be caught off-guard when that happens.

By gawd, King, that's the most suggestive headline ever written about the Sun Belt.It's good to see the Cajuns plan on scoring at home, though. Winning all those home games is the foundation for a successful conference run, and good protection works in both football and in your sex life. One knows it is a good week because this is only the second most artfully constructed lead we've seen this week.

I certainly want to be politically correct and not be against serving beer in Tiger Stadium....

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I certainly want to be politically correct and not be against serving beer in Tiger Stadium. Certainly the athletic director and the chancellor would have to make that decision. But I promise you, we would enjoy playing in front of a Tiger Stadium that occasionally had a beer.

Les Miles, displaying a poor understanding of the term politically correct but making up for it by understanding the good things in life when he sees them.

Fire Ned, hire Homer. Homer is fat. Homer cusses. Homer cheats. Homer tortures his...

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Fire Ned, hire Homer. Homer is fat. Homer cusses. Homer cheats. Homer tortures his children (players). Homer drinks. Let's rehire Homer.

This Week In Schadenfreude contains many wonders, but that analogy for Turner Gill/Mark Mangino may have just broken my personal space/time continuum.

I think for him, getting invested is probably the most significant thing for him," Snyder said....

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I think for him, getting invested is probably the most significant thing for him," Snyder said. "And I think he's making some headway in that respect. I think he's a little more into it. He missed a lot during the course of the summer, so there's a lot of catching up for him to do.

That's Bill Snyder on running back Bryce Brown, and please take note at what an excellent way Snyder has of saying "I don't think this person cared at all initially, and now gives about a sliver of rat's ass cheek at this point." Does your school have a recruit on their radar who has a "svengali," "consultant," or "overly interested father" on board? Cut them from your targets immediately.

They've got fullbacks that want to block your soul.

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They've got fullbacks that want to block your soul.

Texas defensive coordinator Manny Diaz, very emphatically emphasizing the work BYU's fullbacks put in week after week. They do want to block your soul, Coach Diaz. It is true. They also want to save it, and if you're down for it possibly invite you over just to meet the kids, hang out, maybe do some grilling. No pressure. Seriously, we're really nice unless we're running power jet fake Ace Around Iso 32.

Lyles does not plan to attend the game in Arlington, Texas.

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Lyles does not plan to attend the game in Arlington, Texas.

This article from the Eugene newspaper The Register-Guard ends with the above gem. This seems like a really, really, really good plan for ol' Willie. I can't think of too many tasks better suited for the EDSBS Commentariat than the following prompt: THINGS WILLIE LYLES DOES NOT PLAN TO DO Here are some examples: * Lyles does not plan to urinate on a beehive. * Lyles does not plan to lick the floor of a movie theater. * Lyles does not plan to play quarterback at UCLA.

Crowton has a quiet intensity. Driving to scout a high-school game as Lousiana Tech's coach in the...

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Crowton has a quiet intensity. Driving to scout a high-school game as Lousiana Tech's coach in the late 1990s, he was so focused on devising game plans that he drove 90 miles out of his way before he realized where he was.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/terps/bs-sp-terps-gary-crowton-0828-20110827,0,3604527,full.story

"If the allegations prove true," he said, "the words irony and hypocrisy don't seem to go far...

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"If the allegations prove true," he said, "the words irony and hypocrisy don't seem to go far enough."

Larry Scott on former Miami AD and NCAA Committee on Infractions head Paul Dee, presumably spoken while painting the world "Future" in his personalized one-on-one Chinese Calligraphy classes while soaking up the rays of the sun peeking over the sierras, and most likely while eating a protein-rich and cruelty free ostrich egg omelet while wearing a 100% organic silk kimono that is also an iPod. Larry Scott is from the future.

A man head-butted his wife, her brother, and her cousin at a family gathering that got out of hand.

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A man head-butted his wife, her brother, and her cousin at a family gathering that got out of hand.

Charleston City Paper
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