Via the good Doctor, holy shit: Ole Miss stars Greg Hardy and Dexter McCluster got themselves in a car wreck over the weekend that involved open flames:

According to Nutt, another driver pulled out in front of the vehicle Hardy was driving and made contact with the front right tire, pushing it into the engine. Nutt said the vehicle caught fire but the players escaped serious injury.

A likely story (little is known of the Rebs’ “Fear Makes You Fast” offseason conditioning program), but for the moment we’re just glad both guys are up and about and in possession of all their limbs and functions. Next time, Boss Hawg, hire some pros. Those boys should’ve been drunk in a pool somewhere.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Sarah Jessica Parker Tripp Thornton Oh God Why The Fuck Do Southern Bourgeoisie Insist On Giving Their Children Eight Thousand Names John Parker Wilson. Naked, exposed, and vulnerable: all the things an actor fears, but must embrace in a role. In him, we see our own demise, but gorier and more painful than could possibly be imagined.

Best Animated Short. Jeff Demps in Le Waterbug.

Best Animated Feature Film. Mack Brown’s All-Singing, All-Dancing, All-Shillling Extravaganza, playing for two straight months in December and January to sold-out audiences on ESPN, with a cast of thousands of shrieking wronged Texas fans.

Best Performance By An Actor in a Supporting Role. Percy Harvin in Braveheart Two (You Can Rip Out My Intestines But That Just Makes Me Faster, Fuckers.)

Best Score. Ohio State fanbase and the original compositions “Screams,” “Screams Again,” and “Continued Din of Communal Screaming Ending in Silent Weeping (aka “Boeckman’s Theme”).

Best Visual Effects. Knowshon Moreno in Die Hard 5 Splayed Out In Midair (But Still Lost To Georgia Tech).

Foreign Language Film – Bowl Winner Notre Dame. Critics say: ACCLAIMED! BELOVED! INCOMPREHENISIBLE!

Best Director: Jeremiah Masoli for the production Sit, Bitch.

Best Documentary Short: My Football Career, By Jonathan Crompton.

Best Makeup: Texas Tech’s Brandon Carter in his stirring role in Attention Whore.

Achievement in Sound Editing: Eric Berry in the zany musical “You Didn’t Need Math and Empathy, Anyway.”

Best Actor in a Leading Role Bill Stewart in I Am A Division I Football Coach.

Best Documentary Feature. The Sun Bowl. Irrefutable proof that documentaries are boring.

Best Achievement in Editing. ESPN, who artfully used the 7 second delay to edit out numerous ethnic slurs, profanities, and incoherent tics from the speech of Lou Holtz, who appeared to be only a borderline personality not in fact kept tied to his desk and at arm’s length from his fellow hosts with a webbing of leather restraints. (Also nominated for visual effects.)

Best art direction. The surreal artwork and ghostly minimalism of the Michigan offense.

Best Screenplay Based On Actual Material. Andre Smith’s It Had Nothing To Do With An Agent, Y’all!

Best Screenplay, Fiction. Collected college football writers of the universe for Georgia: 2008 MNC Champions With Ease And Flair.

Best Picture of the Year. Slumdog Millionaire, by Houston Nutt.

Time to shake off the pain of last weekend’s bloodbath, but not before we pick at the scabs a little.  Rightchere. 9 PM EDT.

Besides a yard? ONE DAMN YARD, DAMMIT.

This house is going to be spotless by the time we’re done with this. Like, Joan Crawford spotless.

Clean up THIS MEEEEEESSSSS!

Our only consolation is that across the state of Georgia there will be thousands of other spotless homes by the end of the day, too. Nifty thing: our cleaning makes them feel better, too, via the endless loop of mutually reinforced schadenfreude.

Meanwhile, Ole Miss, don’t lift a thing today. You should spend the day drinking, and drinking heavily and eating on the reddest and velvetiest of red velvet cake. Ragin’ Cajun Rebel texted us at 1:30 in the morning last night with the question: “Does it still sting?” Yes, which means your football team did somethin’ right, son. Giggitys all around.

Enjoy your Sunday. We’ll see you tomorrow.