EDSBS » WE HAVE POWERS http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:01:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 BACK TO THE USUAL DELAYS http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/05/19/back-to-the-usual-delays/ http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/05/19/back-to-the-usual-delays/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 09:52:09 +0000 Orson Swindle http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=10319 Hey, kids. If you’re reading this, it’s because we were in the emergency room all night getting a pesky couple of broken transverse processes of the L1 and L2 lumbar vertebrae taken care of by the fine medical professionals at Emory Hospital. You ever had Dilaudid? It’s like morphine, but with robot arms, a trust fund, and a horrendous gambling problem. We met last night.

lumbar
Play me off for 6-8 weeks, Keyboard Cat.

No permanent or lasting damage, as the piece of angry, disunited bones in my back aren’t load bearing. They do hurt like I swallowed a plugged-in soldering gun, which is why I’m waking up in a few hours to dust off some more delicious, nutritious Percocet.

Thanks to all the well-wishers on Twitter and Facebook. (Our phone doesn’t work, as the iPhone battery died last night, too.) It’s pill and sleep time, and we’ll see what “we” feel like tomorrow.

]]> http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/05/19/back-to-the-usual-delays/feed/ 68 THE UNIVERSE PROVIDES. http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/22/the-universe-provides/ http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/22/the-universe-provides/#comments Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:21:34 +0000 Holly http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=7825 WE. HAVE. POWERS.

Exhibit A

12:13:47 PM Holly: Oh, Jesus, they put Crompton back in
12:13:51 PM Holly: timestamp this…now
12:13:59 PM Holly: let’s see how long before something horrible happens
12:14:00 PM Swindle: You can’t be nervous
12:14:03 PM Holly: No.
12:14:07 PM Swindle: (3:14)
12:14:09 PM Holly: Well, we’re up by 10
12:14:11 PM Holly: so I can
12:14:13 PM Holly: but I’m not.
12:14:35 PM Swindle: You have powers
12:14:37 PM Holly: Fumble!
12:14:39 PM Holly: I AM NOT KIDDING
12:14:44 PM Swindle: That was under a minute
12:14:47 PM Holly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
12:14:53 PM Holly: this is science at this point, right?
12:15:10 PM Swindle: Yes. I am comfortable saying this is correlation.

Exhibit B

Friday, November 21:
12:02:48 PM Swindle: Because if Syracuse beat Florida right now, I think I would just phone up Satan and offer to suck his spiked cock to feel something theoretically worse than losing to GERG
12:03:06 PM Holly: a lameduck GERGing
12:03:31 PM Swindle: The worst of all fates. The only thing more rancorous would be a loss by Bama to Auburn.
12:03:44 PM Holly: I still can’t think of that without howling
12:03:57 PM Holly: please, please, please
12:04:05 PM Swindle: I kNOWE
12:04:08 PM Swindle: DSFHCKJDS
12:04:17 PM Swindle: CAnt typie when I thbjnk oabout that
12:04:20 PM Holly: IT TICKLES
12:04:46 PM Swindle: Deep, gusty laughter
12:07:09 PM Holly: Wait, I can make it worse
12:07:15 PM Holly: LOSING TO GERG AT HOME THEY ARE PLAYING AT SOUTH BEND
12:07:21 PM Holly: I forgot that part!
12:07:23 PM Swindle: Ohhhhhhh
12:07:26 PM Holly: THAT would smart.

Saturday, November 22:

What a beautiful world.

]]> http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/22/the-universe-provides/feed/ 38 MISTER, I’M ALREADY THERE: NIGHT GAMES LIVEBLOG http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/08/mister-im-already-there-night-games-liveblog/ http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/08/mister-im-already-there-night-games-liveblog/#comments Sun, 09 Nov 2008 00:39:55 +0000 Holly http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=7569 If the Texas Tech-OK State score drops below 50, this liveblog will explode.

]]> http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/11/08/mister-im-already-there-night-games-liveblog/feed/ 0 YAHOO LIVEBLOGS HAVE UNSEEN, UNKNOWABLE POWERS http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/10/10/yahoo-liveblogs-have-unseen-unknowable-powers/ http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/10/10/yahoo-liveblogs-have-unseen-unknowable-powers/#comments Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:03:08 +0000 Holly http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=6957 So, during the Yahoo(!) liveblog last night, a running gag of sorts crept in re: Willy Korn, the redshirt freshman QB whom many Clemson fans see as the answer to their stagnant mosquito pond of an offense.  The game was excruciatingly, eye-gougingly awful for most of four quarters, and in the name of a) seeing something, anything interesting happen, and b) utter delirium, we got it into our heads that invoking the name of Willy Korn, over and over again, could somehow make him just appear on the field, like the Candyman.  This rapidly spiraled out of control, of course, leading to updates like “First down Wake inside the Clemson 25. (Willy Korn)”, and at the end of the night we shut our laptops, Kornless, dejected, and a little dumber for what we’d just watched.

Today:

Redshirt freshman Willy Korn will replace senior Cullen Harper as Clemson’s starting quarterback, coach Tommy Bowden announced Friday. Korn, one of the highest-touted quarterback recruits out of South Carolina’s Byrnes High two years ago, will be behind center next Saturday when Clemson (3-3) plays Georgia Tech.

The report adds that “Bowden also sighted Korn’s mobility”, which we’re assuming is a typo, since Tommy Bowden, for all his qualities, is not a hunter.  No, if anything, he’s a hunting dog:  sad-eyed, inbred, and born without opposable thumbs.  What you really need to take away from the story, however, is WE HAVE POWERS.  Empirical proof that The Secret is for bitches, comrades—invoke Willy Korn, and all things are possible.  (Willy Korn)

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