Track team? Guuhd keeeyuds. Of all the straight-faced sidestepping we’ve heard B-Bow do since the NCAA hammer first settled in a near orbit above his withered noggin, this is number one with a bullet:

“I’m just concerned about our track team, which won two national championships. I’m just concerned about that and other coaches that won games,” Bowden said Thursday. “I heard commentators saying, ‘They deserve it. They deserve it.’ Why do we deserve it? I mean, why do our coaches deserve it?

“We didn’t know anything about it.”

….which, if we’re not mistaken, is why you deserve it. Sir.

UF athletic department, take note: LSU discovers new frontier in scheduling!

“In football, we should have one BCS-type opponent on our schedule every year,” Alleva said. “If that means going on the road, that’s something we’ve got to look at doing every once in a while.”

Well, knock me over with a 747-200. Season ticket sales at Virginia drop approximately a billionty percent.

Grohmentum will not be slohed, noh.

(blesstheirhearts) Two players gone from Washington State, but we’re having a hard time mustering any sort of enthusiasm in response to this, both because it’s Washington State and because neither appears to have been arrested.

By tomorrow morning, Finebaum will have laid this at Urban Meyer’s doorstep. Auburn recruiting is down, to the tune of eight verbal commitments at the moment versus last year’s nineteen.

We’ll trade you Missy State for LSU. MUTANT SUPER CONFERENCES, activate! CGB did this earlier in the year and did it better, with fancy picture maps, but these guys propose an alliance of Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Auburn, Mississippi State, and Miami, and that’s not the sort of baller reverie we’re prepared to argue with.

Wah-waaaaah. And this gets a link solely because it uses the word “hiccup” one sentence before recounting Ryan Mallett’s drunken run-in with the Law.

(The only catch: Now it’s stuck. Quickly! To the Daft Punk atrium!)

L’affaire Kiffykins, part eleventeen in an infinite series. Tennessee racks up its third straight itty-bitty-ole recruiting violation under the Lanelet’s reign.� A week ago, we may have sighed, rolled our eyes, and resumed knitting that orange-and-white checkerboard cozy for our iced tea maker, but emboldened by our new marching orders, we say ONE VIOLATION FOR EVERY FIRST QUARTER TOUCHDOWN WE SCORE ON ALABAMA SON HOME SWEET HOME TO MAAAAAAAAAY [runs around in circles, passes out]

Wanted: “It” new video game to fill void left by decreasing utility of Rock Band jokes. Georgia LB Marcus Washington simultaneously sprains both wrists while lifting. Takeaway quote: “When asked if that was a common injury, he couldn�t help but laugh.� �Nope,� he said.”

Just typing here to have some bold text in front of it because nothing could improve upon this quote OK go: “Surprisingly, another thing that helped in Wood’s development was head coach Bobby Petrino’s resignation after his sophomore season.”

And Bill Callahan is sorry he hit you, baby, but if you could just hear him out (and quit burning dinner)… Cupid is a Husker Fan!

Festival of love, my ass—nothing chills to the core faster than the thought of Little Red armed and given the power of flight.