Everyday Should Be Saturday

July 8, 2008

THINGS WE NEED: OUR OWN BULL GRILL

Normally when we see the image of an animal advertising for a place serving cooked pieces of that animal, a bit of cognitive dissonance kicks in and spoils the whole show for us. A pig advertising for a barbecue place is the worst, since the pig usually looks so happy to be the asshole porcine Quisling selling out his brethren for better slop.

For some reason, this Texas tailgating necessity escapes that quease, probably becase a.) it rocks balls, and b.) the cow looks appropriately confused, as in “What’s that smell? OH GOD IS THAT—NOOOOOO!!!!!”

When our alien carnivore overlords make these in human shapes, have the courage to laugh before you’re thrown on the grill, earthling.

July 18, 2007

D-MAC’S RIDE MAKES THE HATERS COME OUT

Darren McFadden is Humanity Advanced, so we are not surprised to find the Arkansas Razorback RB demands that his automobile reflect the dedication of someone bound and determined to stretch the limits of engineering.

Or failing that, at least McFadden will squeeze every ounce of recoverable pimp juice from the humble frame of what appears to be a Ford Taurus. Correction: commenters leaning towards Crown Vic, which is even better.

Presenting: Midsize American Sedan-ity Advanced. (HT: Stephen)


I will be paying for a new vanity plate in excess bicep muscle, sir.

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