Everyday Should Be Saturday

October 11, 2008

OPEN THREAD, PART TWO: BREATH, TAKEN AWAY

Hi. You know who I am. This thumb’s for you, Colt McCoy, because you’re a champion who takes my breath away and turns in slow motion away from onrushing defenders bent on crushing you. You took the highway to the danger zone but took the exit toward Victory Lane, and for that I’m buzzing your tower and oiling myself up for a one-on-one volleyball game. You’re invited.

No more playing with the boys, Colt: just you and me, a Colt and a Maverick out in the field doing what animals do. I’m bringing this thumb. Let’s role play: this time, you be Sam Bradford, and I’ll be Brian Orakpo and Sergio Kindle.

This is your open thread for the afternoon. We don’t judge you, whatever you’d like to do with or to Colt McCoy and the rest of the magnificent Texas Longhorns, who played the finest game of the year thus far against the Oklahoma Sooners. Boom. Motherfucker.

July 10, 2008

SCENE: A NOTRE DAME DEFENSIVE MEETING

Notre Dame Football Offices. Charlie Weis and his staff are busy poring over game tape. Defensive coordinators Corwin Brown and Jon Tenuta sit on either side of Weis at the head of a long wooden table. Weis points and clicks at the screen.

Weis: And this?

Brown: Well, what we’d do is—

Tenuta: TAH-NOO-TAH BLITZ!!!! (Slams fist down on table.) (more…)

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