Al. AL! Hey, someone nudge Al Groh and tell him someone’s been arrested. Oh, sorry. We forgot that’s what he looks like when he’s awake. Your football players are stealing credit cards from lockers at UVA, which is a great idea if you want the highest credit limits available on credit cards stolen from a public school locker room, but not so good in the morals, ethics, and getting arrested department.
U.Va. freshman J’Courtney Williams, a linebacker who redshirted last season, was arrested Monday by university police, Lt. Melissa Fielding confirmed this afternoon.
Williams, a Christchurch School graduate from Danville, was charged with one count of credit card theft, a felony, and one count of credit card fraud, a misdemeanor, Fielding said.
A U.Va. student “reported his wallet stolen from the Aquatics and Fitness Center,” Fielding said, “and our investigation led us to Williams and another student.”
J’accuse, J’Courtney! Three points for the j’felony and one point for the j’misdemeanor get you four points in the Fulmer Cup for UVA on their way to Wahoo-ing their way into the midranks of the competition. It’s a great testament to Al Groh’s charisma that following a year in which they went 9-4 and finished second to Virginia Tech in the Coastal Division that the biggest buzz coming out of Charlottesville is…well, a guy with an apostrophied name stealing a credit card to pay for his MilfHunter.com account.*
*No evidence of this, but we definitely don’t think he’s a Suicide Girls guy or anything. And most definitely not a Burning Angel dude, either.
We’re off to Vegas to cover the first weekend of the tournament for The Sporting News, and it promises to be Con Air awesome, minus the Nicholas Cage Skynrd locks. Follow our descent into madness–and really, the aim is to destroy this gig and never, ever let anyone come close to our rapid mad post rate ever again–one of several ways.
The Sporting Blog. Not only does it have our interview with Ric Flair, but it will have our posts on what Vegas during the first weekend of March Madness looks, feels, smells, and feels like, including the part where we wind up drinking $2000/bottle cognac from goatskins with the sheikhs of Dubai at a live man versus panther death match in the hills of Nevada.
Step One, this. Step Two, fire up laptop. Step three: MASSIVE PROFITS.
Flickr. I’ll be posting photos live from the fracas, as well, so keep up by following here.
Twitter. For those too ADDled to even get through this blog post, we’ll be posting on the EDSBS Twitter feed muy rapido all day and most of the night.
Your guest host will be Oops Pow Surprise from Black Heart, Gold Pants , a demented gent who promises to not only provide the Curious Index, but an installment of “Things Black and Gold People Like,” the latest in our series of fan profiles. We will usurp the Iowa jokes by saying the only one we know for sure: meth.
Godspeed. And wish the same to us. If we fail to come back from this mission, know that we went to bat country happily.
College football’s a game of unbridled joy, but it’s also one of “harm-joy.” Castaway, you’ll find what you’re looking for in that department, too, in just 37 short days.
Chan Gailey remains the coach so willfully bland it’s hard to get to infuriated at him over anything, really. What one can do with free clearance is laugh at him, especially in those moments when he decides to do something un-Chantastic, like gamble with strategy. There’s nothing better than watching someone disinclined to wagering bust out the crazy stick and fly in the face of the odds–it’s like watching a Mormon melt down and lose the family nest egg at the blackjack tables in Vegas. It’s saddening, disturbing, and funny all wrapped into one unwieldy metaphorical hush puppy.
Watching Jim Tressel do this last season in the title game versus Florida was close…but nothing really tops the succinct poetry of this clip from Gailey Year Zero, or the exceptionally prescient bit of commentary that precedes it.
Enjoy your weekend, and remember: sometimes, you just have to take a knee.
We know Jimbo Fisher’s rebuilding the FSU offense, and that that has a shocking consensus building up that FSU’s going to return to dominance in the ACC, and that worse still, if you don’t think this then you–E-fucking-gads!–agree with dissenter Dennis Dodd, as SMQ pointed out yesterday.
FSU’s former wunderkind turned interception donor Xavier Lee is one of the big reclamation projects on the docket for Fisher, who must be really pushing Lee to the limit. Because there’s an awful lot of limit pushing going on for Lee down in Tallahassee. As in the limits being pushed, and limitizing of pushable limitness.
On offseason conditioning:
It’s going well. Everyone is pushing themselves to the limit. I think everyone is doing a good job of interacting with the guys and pushing it to the limit.
On his improved work ethic:
It’s definitely sunk in. I’m just trying to focus a lot more and work a lot harder personally to just push my self to the limit.
Limitpushpushlimiting. I’m pushing limitations to their unpushable limitness. The limiltess pushing of my limitations has pushified limitosity to the pushacious limittasticness of my limiting. Put simply: I’m pushing limits.
Or, as reader Miguel suggests, perhaps Miguel’s been finding inspiration bumping his speakers to a little Corbin Bleu:
And now thanks to Miguel, this is all we’ll hear whenever Xavier Lee takes the field this fall. And for that, we thank you, because he’s in it, in it, to win it, win it!
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How will Ryan Perrilloux finish the season?
Complaining about the weakness of his drink at the Baton Rouge Hollywood Casino's $5 blackjack table. (48%, 718 Votes)
Hiding from the federales in a culvert outside of Oaxaca. (18%, 270 Votes)
Running a black market arms/currency exchange in Equatorial Guinea. (12%, 178 Votes)
Tossing his third pick of the game in the Independence Bowl. (11%, 160 Votes)
Standing on the Rose Bowl fifty with a trophy and fists full of fake bills. (11%, 159 Votes)
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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