Yeah, you liked it, Urb, but some people don’t.

Getting groped on public transit: it’s not just for Japanese film anymore, as the Pitt Panthers have make the big board with indecent assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct by wide receiver Jonathan Baldwin, who decided while he was on the bus that he may as well go and make a friend by extending a friendly greeting to a female student, or as the law calls it…

…for allegedly slapping then groping the behind of a female student…

Ah, the ol’ Pop and Palpitate Palpate. Good for Club Eros on Friday night, especially with the fifty year old librarians looking to form a filthy rugby scrum in the “Hellfire Room.” Bad for for total strangers on a city bus, and good for four points in the Fulmer Cup with the one bonus point for your name and “slapping then groping” being put into the public record for all eternity. We have company now!

From Twitter:

That special moment when someone of non-sexual identity stumbles across that line in conversation, like when your uncle says “Man, your mother could factory-test a mattress in her day,” or your father says “Body Heat, now that’s how you make love to a woman”, or a priest says “I’m not that kind of priest, but you know I ain’t exactly dead, man.” We’re there just thinking about the implications of this. Thanks, Pete. We’re going to have to use lava soap to wash this layer of skeeved-out off our besoiled flesh.

Where are the Pouncey twins and Jim Bob Cooters of tomorrow bound? You’re a bit of a creepshow for even wondering, but we’re here to help.

The early leaders, after the jump:

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