A BAR SCENE, PART TWO
See this if you want to make any sense out of what follows.
New Michigan Athletics Consultant: The Bishop Don Magic JuanRich Rodriguez sips at his drink and looks around the bar.
Bartender: Another, ma’am?
RR: Yeah, make it another Jack and Coke.
Bartender: If it’s on his tab, it’s gotta be well brand. Sorry, but that’s what he said.
West Virginia’s in the corner playing darts and yelling out WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! for no particular reason, and not paying attention to RR, who’s wearing a low cut top and tight blue jeans.
RR: It’s like he doesn’t even love me sometimes.
Bartender: What?
RR: Well’s fine, man. Just pour it.
Bill Martin, Michigan Athletic director, walks into the bar. He is wearing his customary captain’s hat, but has eschewed his old suit and tie for a frilly blue shirt, skin-tight yellow pants, and a full-length chinchilla coat that extends to the floor. At his side is a woman dressed in a matching chinchilla coat, hot pants, and a Foxy Brown top.
Bartender: What the fuck is that?
The bar stops, and the sound of a needle being dragged across a record is audible in the background
Bill Martin: What is up, you…um…
Martin: You trick bitches and skank duffel bag boys. Bow…(swallows)…to a pimp!
The bar goes silent. Bouncers flex quietly and crack their knuckles.
Mary Sue Coleman, Michigan President, leans into Martin’s ear and whispers.
MSC: sotto voce Try to sound less mincing when you say that. Use the pimp juice, Bill!
Martin: Right-o. BOW….TO A PIMP!!!
He fumbles in his pockets and pulls out fistfuls of money.
MSC: Bill, you have to throw it in the air. It’s called “making it rain.” (more…)
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