Hulu.com should not be news to anyone, at this point. It’s one of those sites that’s been around kinda forever that you still get breathless OMG!!!1-encrusted emails from your maiden aunt about every few months.
That said…this particular section is news to me. Here are FOX and NBC’s big 2008 bowls, in their entirety, plus a bonus play-by-play cutdown of the ‘07 Fiesta Bowl…no fees, no registration. The commercial interruptions are infrequent, the A/V quality astonishingly high for a free site.
Anybody having a long day? Need a little ESS EE CEE SPEED in your cubicle? How about the entire 2008 BCS Championship game? You’re welcome:
Long road to August, boyos. Kick back a spell and enjoy the next best thing.
It’s an alcohol-iday, motherfuckers! WOOOOOOO! Shots on me. Literally. I’ve poured them all over myself. My speedo’s wet! Someone get me a new one or I’m sunning my buckeyes. And you ladies saw that yesterday.
The last time I heard people scream like that, I was running through some back alley in Rio with a flamethrower. You know how long a cat can run after you set it totally the fuck on fire? Thirty-eight feet. I know that because I just whipped out the old twatstand and marked it off myself. Took three lengths, but that’s an exact measurement.
(Surriously: Jim Delany always travels with a flamethrower. You should have seen him at the Hotel Ipanema that afternoon. He was like Peter the Great on PCP. He scares me sometimes. He thinks Turistas is both a comedy and a documentary. His eyes are the dead eyes of a killer! Great dude.)
Jesus. Two years in a row I gotta come down here and rage just to put the beast to bed. (more…)
This is the internet, meaning that this is the place for rumor, hearsay, and spurious stories of dubious sourcing, all sponsored by possibly fraudulent products. So to combine the twin pillars of this glorious virtual universe, we promise that if you read the following explanation of Ohio State 3rd string qb Antonio Henton’s arrest for soliciting a prostitute, your penis/boobs/both, if applicable will grow to twice their normal size when you finish.
One sexual attribute-enhancing rumor, coming right up:
He was driving through that area (a few blocks south of campus) on his way to buy some shoes. While driving along, he was flagged down by a woman who approached his car and asked if he wanted to have sex. Then the uniforms came and arrested him. It should be dismissed as entrapment, and they apparently arrested 10 other people that night in that location. Henton really is a good guy…God damn man trying to keep a dude just gettin’ some shoes down. Fight the power!
What is omitted is Henton’s response to the solicitation, which seems important. We turn this over to the EDSBS legal department, since half of our readership seems to squeeze in visits in between billable hours, while the other half reads this from white-collar prison while trying to get in some consult time with the half reading this from their law offices: is this entrapment? And if so, can we say it with a Sean Connery accent while making eyes at Catherine Zeta-Jones in a catsuit?
Countless Africans really are wandering the streets of Lagos and Lome wearing “USC: BACK 2 BACK CHAMPIONS!!!” and “BRADY QUINN: HEISMANTASTIC!!!” t-shirts. Or at least we like to think so after reading about how hypothetical merchandise like “Buffalo Bills: Super Bowl Champs” tees and hats wind their way down the supply chain and onto the backs of Malian herdsmen.
An eagle-eyed reader saved one such example of neverwas memorabilia for us, however, and sent it post-haste to the Swindle Reptile Farm on Highway 78. The taste is a bit fresher on this one, however, and endlessly sweet for us.
Busted Memorabilia presents: the “Make Florida an Urban Myth” t-shirt.
Ohio State, we knight you as an honorary member of the SEC:
“Tressel Hayes Huffines — sounds as sweet as an OSU victory over Michigan,” Brent Huffines, 27, said Sunday while cradling the 3-day-old boy in the neonatal intensive care unit at Ohio State University Medical Center.
The parents actually named their child after not one, but two Ohio State coaches, something so completely deranged we’ll go ahead and accuse the attending medical staff at the hospital of negligence for not immediately testing the father for tertiary syphilis. We’ll also predict that the child will take their first steps at age two, whereupon he will be tackled savagely by a helmetless Earl Everett.
Honey, get down! Get down Tressel Hayes!
Aside from serving as an argument as to why couples with an aggregate age under 50 should NOT have children, the birth also served as the occasion for a whole array of strange incidents:
1. Afterbirth contained lint roller and gambling chit signed by Art Schlicter.
Congrats to the Florida basketball team, presumably doing it real big in Gainesville. You have no idea what this means, which is what Joakim Noah is telling you here:
Nailing whole seabass to car hoods? Making love to trees? Oh, if Noah’s involved, all that and more.
EDSBS Store Live it. Love it. Wear it until it's ripped from your body by envious hordes of tailgaters.
Locker Room
About us
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Contact
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
Loading ...
