EDSBS » Mustaches

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: JOHN J. PERSHING

Orson Swindle — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:52:15 +0000

Appropriate choice for the day: today’s Mustache of the Day goes to John J. Pershing.

Happy Mustache Wednesday, men.

Sports Meme Power Rankings are up over at SBN, including pictures of the Chupacabra. Go behold its horror.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: CLAY ZAVADA

Orson Swindle — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:05:17 +0000

Today’s Mustache of the Day: Clay Zavada of the Arizona Diamondbacks and his award winning cunnilingus-bumper.

HAPPY MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!! (HT: Chris.)

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: JOSH HULL

Orson Swindle — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:20:15 +0000

Due to overwhelming reader requests, we have no choice for our Mustache of the Day. Josh Hull of Penn State, you truly are the people’s choice. (Click to embiggen.)

HAPPY MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: LOU ALBANO

Orson Swindle — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:49:37 +0000

R.I.P, Cap’n Lou. We’ll always remember you from the glory days of wrestling, but your work as Mario suits our purposes a bit more precisely for Wednesdays.

Sad Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers. Captain Lou Albano, seen here as Mario, is dead.

Lou got money, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Men with mustaches rake it in at a rate higher than lesser, non-mustachioed men.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY:

Orson Swindle — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 12:57:11 +0000

Good morning, sugartits. Your Mustache of the Day today: Mel Gibson.

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers! Except for the Jews, of course.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: LANDRY JONES

Orson Swindle — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:50:26 +0000

Your mustache of the day? Landry Jones, of course. Ahem:

Devil without a cause
And Im back with the beaver hats
And Ben Davis slacks
30 packs of Strohs
30 pack of hoes

If there were going to be a quarterback in the United States who should by right take the field with a mike while screaming “MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID” before launching into a triumphant, stomping version of “Bawitdaba,” it is Landry Jones. Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: AMBROSE BURNSIDE

Holly — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:08:42 +0000

Meet Ambrose Everett Burnside: Union Army general, inventor of sideburns (seriously), and possessor of one fine and fluffsome ’stache for the ages.

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: ONE JERK, THREE HEROES

Orson Swindle — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:00:42 +0000

Someone always, just always has to be different, don’t you?

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

(HT: Awkward Family Photos.)

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: TAYLOR POTTS

Orson Swindle — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:16:28 +0000

Your mustache of the day is: Taylor Potts, Texas Tech.

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

(HT: Chris.)

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, PART TWO: M(COY)

Orson Swindle — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:32:05 +0000

If the good Doctor is going to post the regular, unedited Coltstache, we can’t simply do the same.

He does occasionally look like he should be yelling out “STEEEEEMPY!!! YOU IDIOT!” and this is an undeniable universal truth of the cosmos.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, ONE: MIKE HARTLINE

Orson Swindle — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:03:58 +0000

Mike Hartline wants you to meet his mustache. We call this one “The Syrian Exchange Student,” and it must be immensely popular since it has its own Facebook group and everything. It just looks so lost and helpless out there on his face, doesn’t it, standing out there in the hallway in those overly pleated pants pulled way too far up on its waist? Help it find third-period trigonometry, the poor thing.

Later, the mustache will get handsy with you at a dance and proclaim its undying love before getting stalk-y for a few weeks just like all exchange students do, but they do love differently in the rest of the world. It’s a devoted, molest-y kind of love. How’s that different than the kind of love we practice, you ask? We can afford better surveillance equipment, that’s how it’s different.

(Still later, the Syrian exchange mustache will go through an awkward hip-hop phase. You should defriend him by this period.)

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: PEDRO ARMENDÁRIZ

Doug — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:14:28 +0000

This week Mustache Wednesday pays tribute to a fellow who was taken before his time but still managed to pack more livin’ into 51 years than the rest of us probably could in twice that long: Mexico City-born actor and renaissance hombre Pedro Armendáriz.

Armendáriz got an engineering degree from Cal Poly and variously worked for the railroad, a bilingual magazine, and the Mexican tourism board, but was discovered by a Mexican film director after reciting the monologue from Hamlet to an American tourist; he went on to appear in more than 100 films, including “Fort Apache” and “The Conqueror.” Later in life he was diagnosed with cancer and eventually committed suicide rather than slowly waste away — but not before toughing it out through the production of “From Russia With Love,” in which he plays Kerim Bey, head of Station T in Istanbul and the one man in Turkey who can match James Bond in terms of connections, ladyslaying skills, and sheer badassery.

Below the jump, Armendáriz assists the equally well-mustachioed Francis de Wolff in presiding over the film’s infamous “gypsy catfight” scene. Happy Mustache Wednesday and mee-yoww, motherfuckers.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: JORDAN

Orson Swindle — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:32:19 +0000

Jordan on Twitter: “I nominate myself for Mustache Wednesday.”

Us to Jordan: “Send a photo, and do not. Half. Step.”

Jordan: “BAM!!!” (Click for big.)

CLAPPING IN 360 DEGREES SIR. Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: RICHARD PRYOR

Orson Swindle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:51:22 +0000

We’re having a bit of a moment: tired beyond all belief due to staying up for the better part of two days for the Badwater, exhausted from the effort of staying away from the tables in Vegas, then frazzled by working an East Coast day on West Coast time…we need something, some inspiration, just something to get to the end of the day–

–oh, fuck yes. That will do quite nicely. After the jump, Pryor brilliantly addresses the issue of destroying your own property.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: GENGHIS KHAN

Orson Swindle — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:33:27 +0000

As a servant to an aging, once-powerful master watching his empire crumble, it is fitting that on the day Florida State President T.K. Wetherell announces the specifics of his retirement, we honor another once-powerful emperor: Genghis “Flippin’” Khan:

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

That’s one rough Asian there. (As opposed to an Asian Ruff.) Yes, that’s safe for work, unlike anything you’ll get from a Google search of “rough Asian.” (HT: RCR.)