Whilst Patrick is sporting immense celebratory lip coverage over at Thirty-Five Seconds, we’re prepping for some margaritas with our favorite tri-cultural hero from south of the border: Die schnellste Maus von Mexiko!
Enjoy your Cinco. We’ll see you tomorrow.
We don’t know who that guy is, but he peed on the sliding glass door at our party, and we had to kick him out. He drank the last Pearl Beer out of the fridge and then tried to stick his hand down your girlfriend’s pants. He just got out, but not of the army, if you know what I mean. He told those guys at Lowe’s they could keep their fucking job, dude. He went to the Bullet Boys concert and it was awesome, especially the part where he got a blowjob in a port-o-let. His credit sucks. He wants you to co-sign a car loan, and you know he’s good for it because you bought weed from him and he gave you the dankest of the dank in return.
He’s that guy, and he wishes you a happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
We’ve already grown our own mustache for Mustache Wednesday, but other bloggers took up the torch for us for this Wednesday. Okay, one blogger specifically: LD from Gunslingers, who unveiled not only the shirtless and sexy look, but showed off a copper cow-catcher for a formidable man-train ready to plow through the great plain of his day.
Andiamo, LD! ANDIAMO!
Don’t ever stop believing, people. Urban won’t let you.
Urban Meyer, on a gallivanting tour of the known world INCLUDING CINCINNATI!, addressed the Cincinnati Bearcats, told them they were on the way toward being a great team, national title contenders, all those other things you’re supposed to say when the other coach asks you to talk to the team…but WHOA HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT:
Stuntin’ like your daddy : he looks like Mark Spitz if he hadn’t pansied out, put on a speedo, and spent a decade splashing around and staring at a line of black tiles on the floor, or perhaps a more charismatic, less retarded Phil McConkey, or even Tom Cruise, back when he was just a confused young pre-clear banging Mimi Rogers. Or, as the Maj suggests, a young Robert Kerman, better remembered as the dude from the opening scene of Debbie Does Dallas, a gifted man in his own right.
Our mustache of the day goes to: George Hamilton in Zorro, The Gay Blade.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
We had a dream: we had an awesome dream. It involved Ryan Perriloux flipping out in a restaurant. Getting details, but in the meantime, why don’t we take a minute on life’s lonesome highway and find a friend or two? And by friend, we mean: a quality mustache like Lionel Richie’s.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
Karamu, fiesta, forever!
Today’s Moustache Thursday, which is certainly not to be confused with Mustache Wednesday, is Olympian hero Mark Spitz!
Spitz, as you may recall, won seven gold medals in Munich in 1972, an unbroken record to this day. If you’re under 40, you may not know that regardless of her marital status at the time, your mother wanted to fuck the living shit out of Mark Spitz. Well, at least until he talked, anyway. So you may lament the fact that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see what’s staring back at you right here. Blame your mother’s lack of dedication. If she wanted Spitz, she should have tried harder, and now look at you.
Happy Moustache Thursday, motherfuckers!
Bearded lunatic no more: we’re our own Mustache Wednesday today.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
On pain of red-carding, accept for one moment the eschewing of the politics, and just consider the life on the enthusiasms alone: he sailed as an expert, spoke prose despite having Spanish and French as his first languages, proposed the introduction of bike lanes in New York City to reduce traffic, worked for the CIA, wrote spy novels, served as a delegate to the United Nations, founded a successful magazine, hosted a popular television show, and once played the harpsichord on the Conan O’Brien show.
He’s dead, but the tank had to be empty. We bestow this week’s tribute to William F. Buckley, who really should have had this stache.
Ah, yes: RIP, Bill. HT to Holly
Today’s Mustache of the Day: wrestling legend KoKo B. Ware.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers! To hear Koko’s vocal talents, hit the jump to see immortal “Piledriver” video from the WWF’s album of the same name. Love can feel like a piledriver sometimes, we agree.
Kurt didn’t even know he was being ironically cool, which ironically makes it all so much cooler that he played in the NBA like this.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
Our Mustache of the Day comes from the random internet pull, but it’s a damn fine random internet pull:
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
It being the respectable Midwest where things are done a certain way and in a certain manner, Joe Tiller has agreed on a handover plan for his retirement and the introduction of his successor, Eastern Kentucky. The negotiations went something like this.
University Counsel: Good morning, Coach Tiller.
Tiller: Hiya. We here to pick my successor? (more…)
The former Georgia defensive coordinator returns to the SEC as Spurrier’s new DC, and also as today’s Mustache of the Day.
It’s like a Whiskey Tango version of Arthur Blank’s half-stache, and a fine one. If he wants to regain his old mojo as a coach, he should regrow it immediately. HAPPY MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
How will Ryan Perrilloux finish the season?
Total Voters: 1,485
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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