Everyday Should Be Saturday

November 4, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: CLAY ZAVADA

Today’s Mustache of the Day: Clay Zavada of the Arizona Diamondbacks and his award winning cunnilingus-bumper.

avadastache

HAPPY MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!! (HT: Chris.)

October 28, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: JOSH HULL

Due to overwhelming reader requests, we have no choice for our Mustache of the Day. Josh Hull of Penn State, you truly are the people’s choice. (Click to embiggen.)

josh-hullstache

HAPPY MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

October 14, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: LOU ALBANO

R.I.P, Cap’n Lou. We’ll always remember you from the glory days of wrestling, but your work as Mario suits our purposes a bit more precisely for Wednesdays.

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Sad Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers. Captain Lou Albano, seen here as Mario, is dead.

Lou got money, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Men with mustaches rake it in at a rate higher than lesser, non-mustachioed men.

October 7, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY:

Good morning, sugartits. Your Mustache of the Day today: Mel Gibson.

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Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers! Except for the Jews, of course.

September 30, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: LANDRY JONES

Your mustache of the day? Landry Jones, of course. Ahem:

Devil without a cause
And Im back with the beaver hats
And Ben Davis slacks
30 packs of Strohs
30 pack of hoes

landry-jones

If there were going to be a quarterback in the United States who should by right take the field with a mike while screaming “MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID” before launching into a triumphant, stomping version of “Bawitdaba,” it is Landry Jones. Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

September 23, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: AMBROSE BURNSIDE

Meet Ambrose Everett Burnside: Union Army general, inventor of sideburns (seriously), and possessor of one fine and fluffsome ’stache for the ages.

burnside

Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

September 16, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: ONE JERK, THREE HEROES

Someone always, just always has to be different, don’t you?

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Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

(HT: Awkward Family Photos.)

September 9, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: TAYLOR POTTS

Your mustache of the day is: Taylor Potts, Texas Tech.

Taylor_Potts_-_trucker_stache_medium
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!

(HT: Chris.)

August 26, 2009

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, PART TWO: M(COY)

If the good Doctor is going to post the regular, unedited Coltstache, we can’t simply do the same.

He does occasionally look like he should be yelling out “STEEEEEMPY!!! YOU IDIOT!” and this is an undeniable universal truth of the cosmos.

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY, ONE: MIKE HARTLINE

Mike Hartline wants you to meet his mustache. We call this one “The Syrian Exchange Student,” and it must be immensely popular since it has its own Facebook group and everything. It just looks so lost and helpless out there on his face, doesn’t it, standing out there in the hallway in those overly pleated pants pulled way too far up on its waist? Help it find third-period trigonometry, the poor thing.

hartlinemustache-1000x562

Later, the mustache will get handsy with you at a dance and proclaim its undying love before getting stalk-y for a few weeks just like all exchange students do, but they do love differently in the rest of the world. It’s a devoted, molest-y kind of love. How’s that different than the kind of love we practice, you ask? We can afford better surveillance equipment, that’s how it’s different.

(Still later, the Syrian exchange mustache will go through an awkward hip-hop phase. You should defriend him by this period.)

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