Missouri’s Secret Shame, Volleyball Mascot: Miz Meow!
The Missouri Tigers went from the proverbial driver’s seat to riding in the bed of the pickup truck in three horrific hours on Saturday night. It’s tough medicine, to be sure, but it’s also no time for crying. No one wants to hear you whine about being left out of the BCS, Missouri. Your football program has been a joke for as long as we can remember and one good season does not afford you the respect you think you’re entitled to. This was a good season for you, so let’s not leave on bad terms. You were the #1 team in the country and had a chance to avenge your only loss of the season. You got an opportunity to show the nation that you were for real — and you blew it in spectacular fashion. Oklahoma pistol-whipped you, as evidenced by this animated drive chart . The Sooners used your carcass to convince me that they may actually be the best team in the country right now, so let this be a learning experience for your entire beleaguered state. If you want to be known for more than meth production and excessive Christianity, then I suggest you take a few plays off, look at what you’ve accomplished, and focus on beating a Nuttless Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl. Godspeed!
Ever watched a marathon on television? It usually ends with two runners, one of whom is almost certainly Kenyan, ripping off five minute paces at the 24 mile mark. (Watch it sometime–it makes your lungs sear a little just watching it.) Then, at one unspoken moment, the one who has more gas in the tank just looks back, makes a decision, and then suddenly goes faster despite having just run those 24 miles. The other person doesn’t exactly give up, but a visible spirit-crushing shudder goes through them as the recede into the distance.
In the third quarter of a potential shootout last night, that’s precisely what West Virginia did to Pitt: Catch me, motherfucker. Pitt had one half of disciplined run D in them, and once White started reading and running, the outcome played out like twisted math for Pitt. He looked like Woody Dantzler on crank last night, running for 200 and passing for 200 on a defense reduced to near tears by the last dregs of the fourth quarter.
If that wasn’t bad enough, Pat White also mocked Pitt’s lame, piped-in roar on camera. You deserve it, Pitt, for using the lamest tricks of a.m. drive-time radio to pump up your crowd. Unless you play that clip of Don King saying “Testicles are acceptable” that they use all the time on 790 here in Atlanta. That shit is always funny.
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How will Ryan Perrilloux finish the season?
Complaining about the weakness of his drink at the Baton Rouge Hollywood Casino's $5 blackjack table. (48%, 718 Votes)
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Tossing his third pick of the game in the Independence Bowl. (11%, 160 Votes)
Standing on the Rose Bowl fifty with a trophy and fists full of fake bills. (11%, 159 Votes)
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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