Every week Chris Brown from Smart Football takes your questions here about football and football-related game theory. This week, he explains precisely how Virginia Tech turned Miami 2009 into Miami 2008 for four quarters last weekend. Submit your questions for Chris at twitter.com/edsbs, your source for football chicanery and zombie law links since 2008. Enjoy.

I didn’t get to watch the Miami-Virginia Tech game until after I already knew the outcome — I had been at another game at the same time, and was as surprised as anyone that Virginia Tech could score thirty-one, and even more than Miami managed a meager seven. But I can honestly say that I had more fun watching this game on replay, already knowing the outcome, than anything I’ve watched this year.

That might come as a surprise considering I just did an extensive breakdown of Miami’s (previously) vaunted pass offense, have family members who are diehard Canes fans, and still think Jacory Harris is one of the most entertaining players in the country. But you have to love what Bud Foster and Frank Beamer were able to do with Virginia Tech. (more…)

Virginia Tech standout Vince Hall may miss the Orange Bowl thanks to one of Florida’s greatest nuisances outside of lovebugs, sandspurs, and those pesky hotel rapists all over the place: jetskis.

Some innocent horseplay on a personal watercraft in the Atlantic Ocean could result in Virginia Tech being without standout senior linebacker Vince Hall in Thursday night’s Orange Bowl.

That’s according to the Roanoke Times, who list Hall as “questionable for the game against Kansas tonight. There’s nothing funny about jet-skis: they’re loud, horrible creations that light beer-fueled yahoos run into the side of boats all the time while flashing the shocker to their friends on shore. (RUMSFELD!) There’s also nothing funny about Virginia Tech losing Hall for the game due to a stupid injury, especially with midget manipulator Todd Reesing given a tiny weakness to work with in the Tech D.

At least this didn’t happen to Hall on a jet-ski:

See? YOU CAN’T EVEN OUTRUN A MEGALODON WITH A JET-SKI. This is why lifeguards need their own rocket launchers, along with all the terrorists and killer sharks, that is.