This really is nothing when it comes to Jim Leavitt being animated in front of a camera, since you don’t build something from nothing without the ability to at least scare everyone in a 1000 foot radius with a glance. Leavitt’s man-fear-smell-emitting glands may have had as much of an effect on attendance as USF’s disappointing 7-4 season: attendance was down this year for the Bulls overall. Expect to see Leavitt standing on the corner of Dale Mabry with a sign advertising tickets…while selling a few Sunday St. Pete Times, too. Leavitt’s a hustler like that.

(HT: The Wiz.)

ORSON (ATL):
Michigan @ Ohio State
Tennessee @ Vanderbilt
Syracuse @ Notre Dame, “just to see if the unthinkable becomes the unbearable.”
Ole Miss @ LSU
Michigan State @ Penn State
BYU @ Utah
Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Texas Tech @ Oklahoma

HOLLY (L.A.):
Michigan @ Ohio State
West Virginia @ Louisville
Tennessee @ Vanderbilt
BYU @ Utah, Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati,  and Texas Tech @ Oklahoma on Sunday morning Tivo.  (What could pull me away on one of the last nights of the season? BLOGGER WEDDING, son.  Ya heard.)

MALCOLM GLADWELL: Kicking back with an MGD and Louisiana Tech at New Mexico State. Because that’s precisely where you wouldn’t expect him to be.  Successful people are unpredictable and doing the opposite of what you expect them to do!

As for you, campers, grab your helmets and pads, write down your blood type and pin the paper to your shirt, and get in there.  Leave your own agendas below, so we know which rivers to dredge Sunday morning, and happy mayhem.

ORSON (ATL):
Notre Dame vs. Navy
Ohio State @ Illinois
Georgia @ Auburn
Texas @ Kansas
South Carolina @ Florida
Mississippi State @ Alabama
Boston College @ Florida State

HOLLY (L.A.):
Notre Dame vs. Navy
Northwestern @ Michigan
Duke @ Clemson
Georgia @ Auburn
Texas @ Kansas
South Carolina @ Florida
USC @ Stanford

DAME JUDI DENCH AS M
Hovering in an undisclosed location over the North Atlantic, and wondering if you’d mind not killing every available chance for a Rose Bowl while you’re at it?

It’d be a pretty cold person who wanted to watch Ohio State-Illinois.  The high for Saturday is only 37 degrees, and the forecast calls for sleet.

Leave your plans below for all your blog groupies to fawn over.  Cincy-Loovll kicks off at 8:00, and another glorious weekend of Most Favored Sport ensues.  There aren’t that many left, so treasure even the paltriest of games.

ORSON (Nashvll):
Penn State @ Iowa
Florida @ Vandy, live if’n he can manage tickets.  Help him manage tickets, America.  He will buy you drinks.   WATCH THE GAME WITH ORSON SWINDLE!  Operators are standing by.
OK State @ Texas Tech

HOLLY (LA, but not the fun LA):
Baylor @ Texas
Wyoming @ Tennessee
Alabama @ LSU
Cincinnati @ West F. Virginia
California @ USC
OK State @ Texas Tech
Florida @ Vandy

Evil Nine’s death-defying new album:  In hands and ears across America, if you know what’s good for you.  Black Dennis Franchione thinks it’s the mad notes, but don’t let that stop you.  CONSUME.

Crucial schedule and coverage maps:  Hyah. Your own agendas:  Below.  Another glorious fall weekend:  Begun.

First round of games, up and at ‘em.

ORSON (JAX):
WLOCP, Live
Texas @ Texas Tech, via some manner of bar television

HOLLY (undisclosed South Carolina-ish beach location):
WFV @ UConn
Florida vs. Georgia
Oregon @ Cal
Tennessee @ South Carolina
Texas @ Texas Tech
Arizona State @ Oregon State

Ron Paul:  Orbiting the Cocktail Party in his trusty dirigible nouveau, and wondering who, exactly, is PAYING for all these cocktails?  THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE THE TRUTH. And a return to the gold standard. This message approved by Ron Paul, who thinks you should have to pay for air.

And you, sirs?  Agendas, empty threats from actual Ron Paul voters (I know you exist), and preliminary smack talk below.  Happy Halloween.

ORSON (ATL):
Texas Tech @ Kansas
Kentucky @ Florida
OK State @ Texas
Georgia @ LSU
Penn State @ Ohio State
Alabama @ Tennessee
USC @ Arizona

HOLLY (Knoxvull):
Alabama @ Tennessee, live in SurlyVision(tm) from Neyland.

The Turtle:  Everywhere and nowhere, and that’s because he’s representing FEAR, not some sucka Dust Bowl farmers.  [/steinbeckwasapantywaist'd]

Itineraries below, please and thank you.  Welcome back to this grand addiction of ours.

ORSON (ATL):
Georgia Tech @ Clemson
Texas Tech @ Texas A&M
Vandy @ Georgia
Ole Miss @ Alabama
Michigan @ Penn State
LSU@ South Carolina
Mizzou @ Texas

HOLLY (L.A.):
Texas Tech @ Texas A&M
Vandy @ Georgia
Ohio State @ Michigan State
Miami @ Duke
Missy State @ Tennessee
Mizzou @ Texas
LSU @ South Carolina

Contingent of LSU fans:  IN OUTER FUCKING SPACE, APPARENTLY.

Television coverage maps are available at this indispensable genius website here. Travel plans, drinking goals, and observations on tonight’s Hawaii-Boise State tilt below, if you please.  Happy weekend, and we’ll see you back here much too early tomorrow.

ORSON (Gainesville):
Texas vs. Oklahoma, Notre Dame @ UNC, Nebraska @ Texas Tech via bar TV
LSU @ Florida from the UF student section, which will not end badly, at all
OK State @ Mizzou via replay

HOLLY (Anaheim):
Texas vs. Oklahoma
Tennessee @ Georgia
LSU @ Florida
OK State @ Missouri
UCLA @ Oregon

Silent lion assassin: Could be anywhere, really, but we’ll lay odds on “right behind whichever shoulder you don’t check first.”

Who’s heading where?  Who’s hard up enough for action to watch Memphis-Loovll tonight? Everybody got their fighting shoes on?  Do tell.  Happy weekend, y’all.

ORSON (ATL)
Duke @ Georgia Tech, live in BEEEES color
Florida @ Arkansas, televised

HOLLY (L.A.):
Duke @ Georgia Tech
Rutgers @ WFV
Kentucky @ Alabama
Florida State @ Miami
Auburn @ Vanderbilt
Texas @ Colorado
N. Illinois @ Tennessee
Hawaii @ Fresno State (this is a great weekend for late-night drunk nap games)

Somali pirates: doing a brisk arms business off the Florida coast. Ever wondered how to fence a tank? Try Tampa, Jacksonville, or Miami to start.

Leave your travel plans and assorted insults below.  ‘Til the morrow, sweet readers.

ORSON (ATL):
Maryland @ Clemson
Ole Miss @ Florida
Tennesse @ Auburn
Colorado vs. FSU
Alabama @ Georgia
Illinois @ Penn State
San Jose State @ Hawaii  (YEEEEEEAH)

HOLLY (undisclosed desert location):
UNC @ Miami
Virginia @ Duke
Tennessee @ Auburn
Arkansas @ Texas
Marshall @ WFV
Croom State @ LSU
Alabama @ Georgia
San Jose State @ Hawaii (THASSRIGHT)

Lane Kiffin:  Nowhere near any northeastern United State, and certainly not interviewing for the Syracuse job.  What Syracuse job? Look, a huge distracting thing!

You’re damn right we’re staying up for the 11:59 PM kickoff in Hawaii.  Share your destinations and plans below for all to see and stalk.  It’s been a long week.  Welcome back to bat country.

ORSON (Knoxville):
Florida @ Tennessee.  Email our fearless leader to invite him to pertinent merriment/well-kickings.

HOLLY (Los Angeles/Tempe/still sitting on a plastic bench at O’Hare):
If I can ever get this effing plane to take off, I’m making a fast break for Arizona directly after touching down on the coast.  Assuming I survive watching the Florida game, the rest of the day will be devoted to watching LSU @ Auburn and marinating in Georgia @ AZ State.  Mmmm, conference play.  You taste like bourbon candy.

Bill Stewart will be sleeping the sleep of the angels, without a care in the world, if anyone needs him.  Unless you need him to coach a football team.

And you, fair readers?  Tell us where you’re going, what you’re watching, and what you’re drinking this fine fall weekend.

Matt Grothe, football hero.  We’re as spooked as you are.

SWINDLE (Gainesville, for a wedding that mercifully falls on Florida’s bye week):
Kansas @ USF
Georgia @ South Carolina
“Whatever’s on ESPN at noon”, which means Cal @ Maryland, the poor bastard.
Ohio State @ USC

HOLLY (San Diego, freezing her ass off in the 50-degree “beach weather”):
Kansas @ USF
Navy @ Duke
Alabama-Birmingham @ Tennessee
Michigan @ Notre Dame
Georgia @ South Carolina
Ohio State @ USC
Wisconsin @ Fresno State

TERRY BOWDEN:  Writing about football on the internet, making him precisely as employed as we are.

Consider this your open thread for tonight’s festivities.  Swindle’s on radio silence for most of the weekend with abovementioned commitments, but we’ll have occasional commentary and live coverage of OSU-USC tomorrow.   Y’all come back, now.

SWINDLE (ATL):
Southern Miss @ Auburn
Wake Forest @ Ole Miss
Oregon State @ Penn State
WFV @ East Carolina
Miami @ Florida
Texas Tech @ Nevada

HOLLY (L.A.):
Miami Ohio @ Michigan
Southern Miss @ Auburn
San Diego State @ Notre Dame
WFV @ East Carolina
Miami @ Florida
Texas @ UTEP

GARY BARNETT:
Hauling nets on a trawler in the North Atlantic.

Where y’all headed? Here, open threads,  upset cheering, and a liveblog of the Gators-’Canes clash will be the order of the day.  Join us, won’t you?  (But sleep in, because that first round of games will only exacerbate Friday night’s hangover.)