Is USF Coach Jim Leavitt aware you can’t give game balls to journalists? Is the journo in question aware Jim Leavitt may extend his arm to you not to shake your hand, but to rip your shoulder out of socket and the joint and thus teach you a lesson in taking nothing for granted, because though you may be maimed you still have full range of motion in one arm, and isn’t life about making the best of your current situation? Is Leavitt wearing pants?
This really is nothing when it comes to Jim Leavitt being animated in front of a camera, since you don’t build something from nothing without the ability to at least scare everyone in a 1000 foot radius with a glance. Leavitt’s man-fear-smell-emitting glands may have had as much of an effect on attendance as USF’s disappointing 7-4 season: attendance was down this year for the Bulls overall. Expect to see Leavitt standing on the corner of Dale Mabry with a sign advertising tickets…while selling a few Sunday St. Pete Times, too. Leavitt’s a hustler like that.
ORSON (ATL):
Michigan @ Ohio State
Tennessee @ Vanderbilt
Syracuse @ Notre Dame, “just to see if the unthinkable becomes the unbearable.”
Ole Miss @ LSU
Michigan State @ Penn State
BYU @ Utah
Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Texas Tech @ Oklahoma
HOLLY (L.A.):
Michigan @ Ohio State
West Virginia @ Louisville
Tennessee @ Vanderbilt
BYU @ Utah, Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati, and Texas Tech @ Oklahoma on Sunday morning Tivo. (What could pull me away on one of the last nights of the season? BLOGGER WEDDING, son. Ya heard.)
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Kicking back with an MGD and Louisiana Tech at New Mexico State. Because that’s precisely where you wouldn’t expect him to be. Successful people are unpredictable and doing the opposite of what you expect them to do!
As for you, campers, grab your helmets and pads, write down your blood type and pin the paper to your shirt, and get in there. Leave your own agendas below, so we know which rivers to dredge Sunday morning, and happy mayhem.
ORSON (ATL): Notre Dame vs. Navy
Ohio State @ Illinois
Georgia @ Auburn
Texas @ Kansas
South Carolina @ Florida
Mississippi State @ Alabama
Boston College @ Florida State
HOLLY (L.A.):
Notre Dame vs. Navy
Northwestern @ Michigan
Duke @ Clemson
Georgia @ Auburn
Texas @ Kansas
South Carolina @ Florida
USC @ Stanford
DAME JUDI DENCH AS M
Hovering in an undisclosed location over the North Atlantic, and wondering if you’d mind not killing every available chance for a Rose Bowl while you’re at it?
It’d be a pretty cold person who wanted to watch Ohio State-Illinois. The high for Saturday is only 37 degrees, and the forecast calls for sleet.
Leave your plans below for all your blog groupies to fawn over. Cincy-Loovll kicks off at 8:00, and another glorious weekend of Most Favored Sport ensues. There aren’t that many left, so treasure even the paltriest of games.
ORSON (Nashvll):
Penn State @ Iowa
Florida @ Vandy, live if’n he can manage tickets. Help him manage tickets, America. He will buy you drinks. WATCH THE GAME WITH ORSON SWINDLE! Operators are standing by.
OK State @ Texas Tech
HOLLY (LA, but not the fun LA):
Baylor @ Texas
Wyoming @ Tennessee
Alabama @ LSU
Cincinnati @ West F. Virginia
California @ USC
OK State @ Texas Tech
Florida @ Vandy
Evil Nine’s death-defying new album: In hands and ears across America, if you know what’s good for you. Black Dennis Franchione thinks it’s the mad notes, but don’t let that stop you. CONSUME.
Crucial schedule and coverage maps: Hyah. Your own agendas: Below. Another glorious fall weekend: Begun.
ORSON (JAX):
WLOCP, Live
Texas @ Texas Tech, via some manner of bar television
HOLLY (undisclosed South Carolina-ish beach location):
WFV @ UConn
Florida vs. Georgia
Oregon @ Cal
Tennessee @ South Carolina
Texas @ Texas Tech
Arizona State @ Oregon State
Ron Paul: Orbiting the Cocktail Party in his trusty dirigible nouveau, and wondering who, exactly, is PAYING for all these cocktails? THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE THE TRUTH. And a return to the gold standard. This message approved by Ron Paul, who thinks you should have to pay for air.
And you, sirs? Agendas, empty threats from actual Ron Paul voters (I know you exist), and preliminary smack talk below. Happy Halloween.
Television coverage maps are available at this indispensable genius website here. Travel plans, drinking goals, and observations on tonight’s Hawaii-Boise State tilt below, if you please. Happy weekend, and we’ll see you back here much too early tomorrow.
ORSON (Gainesville): Texas vs. Oklahoma, Notre Dame @ UNC, Nebraska @ Texas Tech via bar TV
LSU @ Florida from the UF student section, which will not end badly, at all
OK State @ Mizzou via replay
HOLLY (Anaheim):
Texas vs. Oklahoma
Tennessee @ Georgia
LSU @ Florida
OK State @ Missouri
UCLA @ Oregon
Silent lion assassin: Could be anywhere, really, but we’ll lay odds on “right behind whichever shoulder you don’t check first.”
Who’s heading where? Who’s hard up enough for action to watch Memphis-Loovll tonight? Everybody got their fighting shoes on? Do tell. Happy weekend, y’all.
ORSON (ATL) Duke @ Georgia Tech, live in BEEEES color
Florida @ Arkansas, televised
HOLLY (L.A.): Duke @ Georgia Tech
Rutgers @ WFV
Kentucky @ Alabama
Florida State @ Miami
Auburn @ Vanderbilt
Texas @ Colorado
N. Illinois @ Tennessee
Hawaii @ Fresno State (this is a great weekend for late-night drunk nap games)
Somali pirates: doing a brisk arms business off the Florida coast. Ever wondered how to fence a tank? Try Tampa, Jacksonville, or Miami to start.
Leave your travel plans and assorted insults below. ‘Til the morrow, sweet readers.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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