Hail, hail, the gang’s all here.

SWINDLE, HOLLY, ‘FREEK (Las Vegas):
24 hours in and all still with beating hearts. Dates tomorrow with Red River Shootout, Arkansas-Florida, USC-Notre Dame, Sakerlina-Alabama, and whatever else we can catch in the sports books. Leave your travelin’, viewin’, and drankin’ agendas below, and put in a good word with your gods for us, you angels.

The weekend’s viewing agenda:

ORSON (Baton Rouge)

On the anthropological beat all day in BR. Get some, son.

HOLLY (Baton Rouge):
Auburn @ Arkansas
West Virginia @ Syracuse
Georgia @ Tennessee
Alabama @ Ole Miss
Florida @ LSU, live in StabboVision, lord deliver us

Wild foxes: On every trampoline, everywhere. We will look just like them by 8 a.m. Sunday morning.

While your travel plans cannot possibly be as fraught with danger and hilarity, you are cordially invited to share them anyhow.

EDSBS Live! On tonight at 9:00 pm with Messrs. Bean and Swindle. Cocktail up!

The chat link is here. If the above doesn’t work, go here to listen. Now get to pouring, and we’ll talk at you at nine.

Fowler led with a Cherry Poppin’ Daddies joke, which we’re choosing to interpret as a sullen refusal to put on a good show in a horrible site choice. We’re with you, C-Fow. STRAP IN FOR ACTION.

Our weekend agenda:

ORSON (Hendersonville, TNish tending to familial things.)

*Friday: Pittsburgh/Louisville. Delicious suffering. It’s what’s for dinner.
*Saturday: We ballin’ on all frequencies all day long, lawya.

HOLLY (Knoxvull)

*Via teevee, LSU @ Georgia and Washington @ Notre Dame, and assiduously avoiding FSU @ BC, because GET BENT GAMEDAY.
*Auburn @ Tennessee, live in StabboVision (and tailgating over behind the Bio annex for like seventeen hours beforehand, so come say hidee)

LeGarrette Blount:  Counting slowly to ten after arriving at McDonald’s at 10:31 craving a biscuit.

Campers, where y’all at? What’s your poison? Tell us below.

It’s fantastic that Stafon Johnson is now awake, signalling and communicating with his family, and faces a good prognosis for recovery after dropping a 275 pound weight on his neck in the USC weight room. For reference’s sake, that is a bulgy Phil Fulmer’s worth, a slimmed-down Friedgen, or Mark Dantonio after he’s swallowed his daily intake of pure leaden buckshot. (Vitamin buckshot: keeps you grounded, regular, and grim like Mark Dantonio should be.)

Happy thoughts to him, especially since he may now tell people for the rest of his life that he survived a potentially life-threatening incident “because of his muscular frame.” Yeah, baby. The pack of wolves would have gotten me, and did in fact bite half my penis off, but they died from bloat due to the huge meal. Thank god for garden hose caddies.

EDSBS Live goes late night tonight at 10 p.m. for a special late night edition. Why late night? Because we’ll be in Roswell interviewing birth coaches in the SWATS slangin’ that snow like we was Frosty in a blizzard. Hate the game, not the hustle, playa. Talk to you then.

[UPDATE] Showtime! Listen here; chat here.

The weekend’s agenda:

ORSON (Athens):

North Carolina at GT
LSU at Miss State (Crazy Old Testament God told us to)
Miami at VT
Cal at Oregon
Florida at Kentucky
Arizona State at Georgia (possibly live)
Iowa at Penn State

HOLLY (Athens):
Arizona State @ Georgia live in StabboVision, and bits of:
Michigan State @ Wisconsin
Cal @ Oregon
Miami @ Virginia Tech
Washington @ Stanford
Texas Tech @ Houston
as available.

Virginia Tech Victory Gnome: Hiding in Frank Beamer’s skull ready to pop out like Athena upon the ticking of the final second off the clock. (He might be in there for a few weeks.)

Leave your travel/public intoxication plans below, and let’s make some magic.

Our weekend in teevee and lolling.

ORSON (Atlanta):

East Carolina @ North Carolina
Cal @ Minnesota
Louisville @ Kentucky
Tennessee @ Florida
Nebraska @ Virginia Tech
Florida State @ BYU
Georgia @ Arkansas
West Fuckin’ Virginia @ Auburn
Texas Tech @ Texas
Kansas State @ UCLA

HOLLY (Birmingham):

Cal @ Minnesota
Ohio State @ Toledo
Louisville @ Kentucky
Boston College @ Clemson
Tennessee @ Florida
Michigan State @ Notre Dame
Florida State @ BYU
Georgia @ Arkansas
West Fuckin’ Virginia @ Auburn
Ttitties @ Texas
Kansas State @ UCLA

Tremors Kevin Bacon: Wherever he is, he’s pissed.

Your own agendas, destinations, and menus below, if you please. Welcome back.

EDSBS Live! has work to do, and plenty of it. Join us here at 9, where we’ll have the widget needed to listen in pasted into this entry, and join us for the adult swim time of college football with cocktail in hand. Questions for this week:

1. Do you know anything about your team after two weeks? We mean it. Is there anything you can state with any certainty at all with the solidity of real, live fact? If you are Colorado fan, this answer must be an acceptable variation of “My team could not place third in the MEAC.” If not, you will be hung up on immediately.

2. Who is already tragically overrated? Now that Oklahoma State has unveiled its overratedness, what team gets the next bolt in the head in the slaughterhouse of inevitable letdown? Besides Mississippi, of course?

3. Name an eye-popping player from the first two weeks of the season. Someone who has caught your eye, or someone who pops the eyes from the skulls of opposing players. Either one is acceptable.

4. What work do you have to do? More specifically, what have you been neglecting thanks to football season? I.e., your yard, which is nearing impenetrable jungle, and may have to cut down in a controlled burn? And may have velociraptors living in it?

See you at 9. Get to work!

UPDATE: Hyah’s the new player. Click, join, cocktail the evening away. FOR CHAT, GO HERE. If the bar below won’t play for you, hit refresh, and it should begin playing.

The weekend’s viewing agenda.

ORSON (Columbus):
USC at Ohio State. Somebody’s getting pooped on.

HOLLY (Knoxville):
UCLA at Tennessee, live in Stabbovision, preceded by a moonshine party (really) and followed by whatever’s on after we stagger back westside, so that leaves USC’s trip to the Buckeye cesspool and a rapid collapse into slumber. Prost!

Kenny Chesney: Some beach, somewhere, being eaten alive by scorpions. C’mon, Secret, make us believers.

Your own viewing intentions, beverages, and slanderous levellings at young master Chesney below. Saddle up, ramblers.