Sometimes all you really do on gameday is nothing in particular, which is precisely why this video contains little more than lounging, blinding sunlight, idling around Athens, and asking a nice lady about her Dorito Salad. You heard us: Dorito Salad, bitches. DEAL WITH THAT.

A few observations on tailgating in Athens:

–Athens happens to be a bit more eclectic and hipster-friendly than most college football tailgates period. Pop open a cooler and you will see foofy craft beers. Open an ear and you will hear something other than lite-country and pop-hop, like the fantastic Commodores/Ministry/Run DMC combo we heard across from us in Tent City. Unlike many SEC burgs, football seems to pull in the townie crew in Athens. They refuse to wear the red pants sure, but they still show out in their own way.

–Everything across the board in the Classic City seems to be at a B-plus or B across the board. The food, while not up to the Roman Orgy standards of Baton Rouge, is excellent across the board. The gear, while not on the mobile dining room standards of the Grove or Alabama, is nevertheless acceptably extravagant. (Quoth Paul Westerdawg: “If you can put it on wheels, we’ll do it.) While they don’t splash out on alcohol quite like Florida fans do (and note that this is the only thing Florida fans really go balls-out on, the booze, booze, booze,) the brands are mid to top range and poured with a shamelessly liberal touch, especially the brown stuff.

Like a well-managed NFL salary cap team, Athens’ tailgating necessities are all economically chosen to maximize potential enjoyment, making the scene the king of no single category but the master of the total array. Across the board Dawg fans are the most well-rounded tailgaters we’ve seen, quick with a bottle opener, adept with rapid satellite television array setup, and just menacing enough when you reveal your status as an opposing fan to be amusing.

–Scenery. We’re not just talking about the lascivious kind, either. It’s a beautiful campus with splendid weather, pleasant architecture, and proximity to bars. Trees surround the stadium. Attractive people of both genders are everywhere, so it’s not just the one-sided gawkfest every SEC lady has been through when visiting a place like Alabama. It’s a hair thing, mostly. Ladies can stand a lot of things, but bad hair will throw a woman on the hunt off the scent of even the most majestic mantelope. Like we say in the video: at least Athens offers a lot of different kinds of bad haircuts for one to choose from. As for the women, they are stunning. That is all we can say without sounding like a creepy old bastard any more than we already do.

PS. Check out the Alphabetical comments for the best Cincy/Chick-Fil-A logo illo EVAR.

Life is complex, and requires graphs. This week in College Football Graphs follows. This is science, and not subject to debate.

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LISTEN TO EDSBS LIVE OR TOBY GERHART WILL THROW YOU THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A DISCUS NAMED “BITCH!”

LISTEN HERE!

CHAT HERE!

ALL CAPS EXCITEMENT IN ALL DIRECTIONS AT 9 PM EST!!! FUCK DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!

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Link to listen is here; link to chat is here. It is a balla convention with free admission, but you have to bring your own bottle. See you at 9:00 p.m. EST, Bravehearts.

EDSBS Live! On tonight at 9:00 pm with Messrs. Bean and Swindle. Cocktail up!

The chat link is here. If the above doesn’t work, go here to listen. Now get to pouring, and we’ll talk at you at nine.

Every week Chris Brown from Smart Football takes your questions here about football and football-related game theory. This week, he explains precisely how Virginia Tech turned Miami 2009 into Miami 2008 for four quarters last weekend. Submit your questions for Chris at twitter.com/edsbs, your source for football chicanery and zombie law links since 2008. Enjoy.

I didn’t get to watch the Miami-Virginia Tech game until after I already knew the outcome — I had been at another game at the same time, and was as surprised as anyone that Virginia Tech could score thirty-one, and even more than Miami managed a meager seven. But I can honestly say that I had more fun watching this game on replay, already knowing the outcome, than anything I’ve watched this year.

That might come as a surprise considering I just did an extensive breakdown of Miami’s (previously) vaunted pass offense, have family members who are diehard Canes fans, and still think Jacory Harris is one of the most entertaining players in the country. But you have to love what Bud Foster and Frank Beamer were able to do with Virginia Tech. (more…)

It’s fantastic that Stafon Johnson is now awake, signalling and communicating with his family, and faces a good prognosis for recovery after dropping a 275 pound weight on his neck in the USC weight room. For reference’s sake, that is a bulgy Phil Fulmer’s worth, a slimmed-down Friedgen, or Mark Dantonio after he’s swallowed his daily intake of pure leaden buckshot. (Vitamin buckshot: keeps you grounded, regular, and grim like Mark Dantonio should be.)

Happy thoughts to him, especially since he may now tell people for the rest of his life that he survived a potentially life-threatening incident “because of his muscular frame.” Yeah, baby. The pack of wolves would have gotten me, and did in fact bite half my penis off, but they died from bloat due to the huge meal. Thank god for garden hose caddies.

EDSBS Live goes late night tonight at 10 p.m. for a special late night edition. Why late night? Because we’ll be in Roswell interviewing birth coaches in the SWATS slangin’ that snow like we was Frosty in a blizzard. Hate the game, not the hustle, playa. Talk to you then.

[UPDATE] Showtime! Listen here; chat here.

Rejoice.

Peter and ourselves, after long hiatuses due to work, putting together Maple Street Guides, building our own stunt biplanes with nothing more than materials scrounged from old car parts and lego kits, and the responsibilities of being two of America’s most in-demand male escorts, have decided to resurrect EDSBS Live. The short-notice test drive will occur tonight at 9:00 p.m. EDT, will consist of Peter and Orson clearing their throats, talking over each other, and giggling uncontrollably. In other words: a usual show of EDSBS Live.

Future installments will settle back in for their usual spot at Tuesday, 9:00 p.m. The listening widget and link will be posted here as the final post of the day. Hit the liquor store, because cocktail hour returns with a vengeance tonight.

That there is the information for tonight’s episode of EDSBS Live, coming to you tonight for the first time from Swindle Manor, whose wireless capabilities are now so fearsome we can cook eggs without an open flame by simply standing with a freshly cracked morning fryer in a skillet set two feet from our router.

The four questions for the night (Back after a hiatus of only about a year or so:)

1. Your offseason proxy sport. The mistress to college football. Or, less complementarily, the piece on the side good for a Wednesday night beer run/slap ‘n tickle session of your sporting world.

2. Entertaining question for your team that will keep your brain occupied sufficiently for the next 2-3 months. For instance: we’ll spend the offseason wondering at the emergence of Omar Hunter at defensive tackle, and pray he doesn’t injure himself squatting whole dormitories during training sessions.

3. Book we need to all read (since we have time.) A cheap ploy to build a reading list, but we’ll take them where we can get them. Once we get be-Kindled, the eyeball buffet will commence.

4. One extremely premature prediction for 2009 (football-wise.) That Ole Miss wins the SEC West thanks to Jevan Snead and the year-two phenomenon. Also because we want a rematch, you Giggitards.

Talk to you tonight at 9 p.m. EST.