You, too, may be the next Louis Elbel: the University of Washington is seeking a new fight song and is holding an open contest for submissions. Off the top of head, the first song coming to mind when thinking of Willingham’s repeated references to his “system” is, well, this, because ever since his first year at Notre Dame the “system” has been most definitely down:
It would have to go with some nice Fenerbahce-stand-hopping, of course, but we think it would be perfect, especially with a lyric sheet reading “buh-DOO-do-DOO-do-DEH” over and over again.
Never forget to twist the knife. Even in the article about his induction into the college football hall of fame, John Cooper gets this in his headlines in the Detroit Free Press.
Ohio columnist: John Cooper, despite 2-10-1 record vs. Michigan, deserves Hall of Fame nod. “Thanks for the ringing endorsement, assface.”
Honey, love of my life, let us be buried together forever–even though that hot Cuban guy I slept with in Miami in college had a horsecock, and brought me pleasures you have never dreamed of giving me in bed. I really do love you best, Your Wife. Remember that one of the most savory points of fandom is never forgetting anything that happened ever unto death. Excuse us: as Florida fans, we have to work on taunting Miami fans about the only thing we can taunt them about, “The Flop.”
Myopic’s the only way we do, baby. Hunglikehussain on our SN APR piece:
Back to the subject at hand. Orson, it is easy to criticize and abase a statute.
Instead of myopic ranting, double the height of your soapbox. Really, if we are in a “Hyde Park cyberspace”, what are your proposals/solutions?
Welcome to one of the difficulties of column writing: at 700 words, you hit the ledge of formal limit and usually skitter some of your better stuff into the canyon below. The piece diagnoses the central problem of the APR, which is the eventual pruning of programs from Division One due to poor academic progress. (And to counter another comment, no, it’s not intentional. It’s the byproduct of many hands creating a compromise policy with unintended effects; see “no sinister volcano lair” qualifier in graf 10.)
Solutions? We’re not into silly metrics like the APR, especially when unevenly applied. However, if you insist on having one, make sure the mechanism includes viable mechanisms for recovery from poor academic performance and the ability to re-enter D-1 following a period of “demonstrated improvement.” Otherwise, we’d be fine not having one at all, or even–gasp–having a non-quantitative review process not dependent on one silly, easily manipulated metric.
This approach, however, requires both work and sense, commodities as rare as pickled unicorn eggs.
Analysis is for the bluecoats. When it comes to a color announcer, Bobby Bowden wants a PR man first.
“Your job is to be a PR man,” Bowden said. “You’re getting paid to boost FSU up. It’s not a high school offense. Some things, you don’t say.”
We suspect that if he had his way, Bowden would have Terry Bowden still pulling the strings of what he would like an announcer to call “a sophisticated but hard-nosed offensive scheme that has yielded amazing results for the ‘Noles.”
Kevin of Fanblogs almost died.Lessons learned: always carry aspirin, don’t ignore chest pains, and make sure your wife is awesomely composed. All of these will help you survive a heart attack along with some judicious use of Google at the right time. (We’re not joking when we type that, nor when we say we’re all too happy you made it, Kevin.)
Let us praise men who, like many of us, peaked in college. Step forward, Derrick Rodgers of Arizona State: your three tackles, seven assists, one sack and safety don’t tell the story of how insanely unblockable you were against Nebraska on September 21, 1996. Watch. Tip hats. Goggle your eyes at Nebraska giving up three safeties in one game.
Pat Tillman’s back there at linebacker as well, along with Mitchell “Fright Night” Freedman, who decided to live up to his name by pursuing a post-football career in sexual assault.
The proletariat will rise, and you will beat the guts out of them at homecoming. San Jose State coach Dick Tomey called the APR “class warfare” on smaller schools like San Jose State, who will be docked nine scholarships and four hours of practice time weekly due to their struggling APR.
“There’s such a difference between the B.C.S. schools and those who are not,” Tomey said. “I don’t think it’s an intended difference, but it highlights financial things like not being able to throw money at the problem and solve it very quickly.”
To the streets, Dick Tomey! The midget corps has your back! Wait: widget corps? That’s not half as cool.
As part of college football’s Urban Haute Bourgeoisie, we light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and tell you to get begging, urchins! Our carriage needs a lithe young rapscallion like yourself to clear the pigfilthy streets of this town for us, lest we get poor germs on our hansom! The little sweep-boy may have a point: of the 37 football programs hit with penalties by the NCAA, only two were from BCS conferences (Kansas and Washington State.
The apt metaphor for this may not be class warfare, even if Moscow’s involved. The better analogy for this may be No Child Left Behind: schools performing badly are sanctioned, then sanctioned again, and given little recourse–and even less if they have no swing or political clout within the NCAA. The Wiz is all over the particulars, including more Entertaining Fun with Mike Stoops, who loses football games and whose team has the lowest APR among BCS teams.
Pete Carroll thinks you’re lazy. Saban’s videoconferencing to get around the new recruiting rules, which Pete Carroll ascribes to sheer laziness rather than an interest in the recruits’ well-being:
“I don’t want to sound like a jerk,” Carroll told The Sporting News, “but other coaches… they’re just lazy.”
If Saban is videoconferencing, rest assured Pete Carroll is visiting recruits on the astral plane and bypassing this pesky technology.
Welcome to UCLA. Physical therapy included. UCLA’s having a positively Iowa-esque injury plague this spring, and it’s not just with the returning starters at quarterback. Walk-on running back Craig Sheppard had surgery to replace the AC joint in his shoulder and will be out 4-6 months. In addition to this, starting qb Ben Olson just had a screw put in his foot, backup Patrick Cowan is out for the season, and JUCO Kevin Craft will have to have his head bolted back to his shoulders sometime around the end of September.
Get in on the ground floor of UGA hype: Tony Barnhart has them at number one. No pressure! [/hurling cursing mindbolts with all our might and watching Knowshon Moreno dodge them effortlessly.]
This week’s big board only appears unchanged: Washington State makes a spectacular score in some post-incident charge juggling, a correction noted in the regular notes, corrections, and etcetera below. The board is provided, as always, by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F’n Nelson.
Washington State’s Andy Roof may have put Wazzou on the board for good thanks to his ability not just to punch people at parties, but also to break their bones while doing it. The Cougars already sat at a good, solid five points thanks to some contact lens sabotage and beery legerdemain.
Andy Roof’s original head-butting offense was given one point for piddly charges, but that may have changed in a drastic manner:
But the police investigation is pointing to alleged crimes more serious than misdemeanor fourth-degree assault. An assault that results in broken bones usually merits a felony second-degree charge, Tennant said.
“Our investigation is criminal in the fact, ‘Did Andy Roof hit this person and how much damage did he cause this person?’ ” Tennant said.
Broken bones in a fight mean likely and various felony charges for Roof. Conservatively, let’s go ahead and estimate two felony charges of assault at the minimum put Roof’s incident at a six-pointer, meaning WSU climbs to a count of eleven–and that’s if we don’t “reward” Roof with a bonus point for not only punching someone completely unprovoked, but also for smashing someone’s face into a stop sign.
Other than that: relative quiet. Two former Mississippi State players will be charged in a shooting incident, meaning we may have to award some retroactive points for the crime. (Croom did boot them, but they were players at the time, and therefore the charges and awarded points stand. Exeunt the EDSBS legal staff…) This quote mystifies us:
“I did make a terrible decision,” said Wesley. “I didn’t use the brain God gave me. I used what the devil gave me.”
A golden fiddle? A stunning goatee? The gift of knowledge? Or like the only great scene in Bedazzled, a life as a Colombian drug dealer complete with assassins in pursuit and a hot mistress? For the record, we never saw what was bad about that whole setup.
(Thanks as always to the SAS Wiki Fulmer Cup board for keeping us straight on scoring. We need all the help we can get.)
Hey, we didn’t piss the shit out of him. Get your wonk on with our interview with Buzz Bissinger at the Sporting Blog. All pleasant, mind you: civil, polite, and discursive in that good way, which considering Buzz’s temper and our own tendency to be an irredeemable smartass is impressive, indeed.
Ana Marie, just say you’re proud, lady, and we’ll stop sending all those letters. (We’re running out of our own blood to write them in, but how else will you know how much we care!?!?!?!)
Wonk? We prefer Wonkette emerita.
LSU will make many top ten lists this offseason despite the loss of Ryan Perrilloux. Most of the publications have gone to press already, and fixing this would cost muh-nay like WHOA to fix. As fun as it is to put your chips on talent and let it ride, the list of losses for LSU is large, and that’s from a two-loss team, mind you: Glenn Dorsey, Perrilloux, Flynn, and the one that can be forgotten in all the hoopla over the Sixty Million Dollar man, their defensive coordinator Bo Pelini. It’s a transition year in Baton Rouge, even with the usual three-string deep mutant talent.
Florida and Florida State both lose linebackers to “life:” Jerimy Finch for the Gators and Marcus Ball for FSU were both released from their scholarships on Monday and are free to transfer to other schools. Ball was one of the eight thousand Florida State players suspended from the Music City Bowl, so academic improprieties or sprained cerebrum may be a possibility. Finch also suffers from sprained cerebrum-type difficulties, but also has two kids back in his home state of Indiana, a likely school for his eventual landing. Fun note of happiness! FSU returns only one starting linebacker now. CAN YOU SAY PLAY-ACTION?
SMQ sees Missouri and likes the fact that, for once, they havea defense and someone else besides a one-man extravaganza at quarterback. Chase Daniel, the 37 year old pizza deliveryman who made up the name in order to fulfill his dream of returning to college, ripping on the football field, and banging hot chicks, could not agree more.
Pec’d! A pec injury to Nate Longshore means Kevin Riley may have nabbed the starting job at Cal, a move surprising exactly no one who watched Riley lead the Bears back against Air Force.
We’re in Florida this week taking a working vacation, which rules because you still write and work and stuff, but you do it from hotels where you can throw your towels on the floor and order ten dollar hamburgers from room service. You can also get the St. Pete Times, America’s finest damn mid-sized newspaper, where actual reportage sits side by side with lists of the top ten worst beers ever.
1. Busch NA Non-alcoholic beers are bad by nature. Remove alcohol, remove flavor. But Busch NA seems to have gotten around the alcohol part of the beer by steeping corn husks in seltzer water to make a tea that Andrew Zimmern wouldn’t drink.
They all wither at the awesome, wrath-of-god flavor profile of Taiwan Beer, a heady blend of green peas, formadehyde, and a hint of phenol in there. Throw in a lingering flatness and lack of froth or bubble, and it crosses the line from tear-inducing horror to grandeur.
The headbutt is the way to eternal fight glory, the most underrated of fight moves: practically uncounterable, savage, and done with a healthy disregard for the thinking gland and its fine, rock-hard casing. Think of its savage effectiveness in the Road Warrior series, its succinct work in Road House, or its ubiquity in the Orc playbook through the Lord of the Rings movies.
It will not get you into a house party, though, if the person at the door does not want you to, something learned by head-butting, braincase-jarring Washington State defensive tackle Alan Roof the (skull) hard way on Saturday in Pullman.
Police say Roof, 22, allegedly head-butted a man who was keeping him out of a private party Saturday on Pullman’s College Hill.
It looked nothing like any of the scenes below.
That’s one point for Washington State for fourth-degree misdemeanor assault in the Fulmer Cup. The guy who headbutted the hell out of Indiana Jones in the runway fight scene laughs at his puny efforts.
Pretty much, dude. The playoff proposal fronted by the SEC and the ACC died unholy, cruel deaths at the BCS meetings in Florida yesterday. First Delany pulled at its flesh with pliers; then he had minions whip it with electrified cables; then it was forced to swear fealty to the Rose Bowl forever before sitting unsupported on a bamboo spike. When it finally caved and spoke mercy, Delany then pissed on it, ripped its organs from its body, and had its head hung over the city gates as a warning to the citizenry.
The formula for success is simple: Line up the nonconference schedule with home games against the likes of Tennessee Tech, Maine, Wofford and Villanova, ensuring four victories. Then grind out a 2-6 conference record and presto — you’re bowling!
There is hope in all of this for one team looking for an elusive bowl win: thanks to Central Arkansas, Notre Dame might win a bowl game this year. We think we said this last year, too, which shows you that just when you think you’ve hit bottom, the floor drops out and deposits you into a seamless concrete tank filled with lit kerosene and flameproof crocodiles.
His plan has worked so far. Weis mentioned that he has had very little social problems to deal with in his three years as coach of Notre Dame.
“I could get hoodlums and thugs and win tomorrow,” Weis said. “I won’t do it that way.”
Weis still has not learned how to be a proper head coach, and this is further proof, because as anyone knows, Iowa tried just that, and look where it’s gotten them. City Boyz Inc NOT EQUAL wins.
We think that’s a myth. Shavodrick Beaver, hyperheeled qb recruit for Michigan, receives the ass-end of some awkward Tom Luginbill phrasing in an excerpt from Feldman’s entry from yesterday:
He is probably very similar to what Pat White looked like coming out of high school as a passer, but Beaver is much bigger and may be more explosive for his size.”
That’s all a myth, right? Further field research required.
It’s a road…you go…when you die… Take a shot from the mancannon of the internet in the face, Bissinger! Where else can you get bearded hipsters singing odes to the Rainbow Road level from MarioKart, a game we will waste at least seven hours this weekend playing.
Connecticut is extremely precise with their degrees of badness in the criminal code. Blame that on having daffy Yale law so close by–how else does one get “sixth-degree larceny,” a crime that seems just a hair off from “accepting a gift in an awkward fashion?” Whatever the hell “sixth-degree larceny” is, Connecticut cornerback Joshua Massey caught a case of it for taking exactly $31.34 worth of goods from the UConn co-op. We’re betting it was blades for his nine-bladed razor, the Gillette Agent Orange (”Deforesting Your Face Nine Lethal Goddamn Blades at a Time.”)
The Gillette Agent Orange: It’s Like Deforestation For Your Face.
One point for UConn, whose measly total doesn’t bring them close to the big board.
Perpetually fun Iowa tacks on a point for underage possession, and we don’t mean the Roger Clemens type of underage possession. Defensive tackle Cody Hundertmark broke through the guard of local criminal code and got his hands on some booze, but was charged with holding and fined with fifteen yards and an underage charge. One point for Iowa, though the good news is that they did not lose a player in the incident.
And finally…100 parking tickets for Sam Baker during his time at USC. As someone who parked their car everywhere on the Florida campus, up to and including a primo spot in the aisle of the Latin American History section of Library West, and kept himself warm on cold winter nights by burning piles of parking tickets, we only have this word: hero.
Yeah, sure, you were about to say something. But fuck that shit: IT’S MARIO KART FOR THE WII, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
More violent that GTA IV. And the roadside hookers in Mario Kart? Far more alluring than the meth-hounds you bang in GTA, especially because they’re Japanese, and therefore disturbingly kinky and capable of morphing into blue tentacled fuckbeasts at any time.
Perhaps Columbia has an open date on their schedule. Notre Dame, rebuffed by Rutgers in an attempt to move their proposed six game series to the Meadowlands for “home” games for the Scarlet Knights, makes the New York Times sassy. And we warned you: you won’t like them when they’re sassy.
How humble of Notre Dame to have visited Ronald Reagan in the Rose Garden at the White House on Jan. 18, 1989, resisting all temptation to call for a meeting at a neutral site more to its grandiose liking.
Ooooooh, Notre Dame you got done EXTERMINGUISHINFLAMMANATED by that one! The writer also points out Notre Dame has lots of fans in the northeast, explaining why the Irish may be making eyes at Syracuse for a new series, presumably played in a custom blue and gold painted Carrier Dome with the Irish spotted seven points to start in the first quarters. (Against Syracuse’s offense, that might do it.)
We’d like to tell you that you can start immediately. Because here at UCLA, our quarterbacks should have had their knees injured in a plane crash, see, but they never got on the plane, and now the Ghost of Knee Death is stalking them all. Seriously: please come to school early. Laters, Rick Neuheisel. (Apologies: that’s COACH Rick Neuheisel, until he loses eight games.–ed.)
It’s like Georgia Tech, but with the possibility of having sex as an undergrad. Taylor Bennett, last year’s starter at qb for the Yellow Jackets, transfers to Louisiana Tech. Paul Johnson is looking like a coach with extraordinarily blunt player relations skills, and we don’t mean that in a bad way:
“He told me what his plan was and where I fit in and what he saw me doing and that didn’t look like something I was interested in,” Bennett said. “I thank him for being honest with me.”
“Son, you cain’t run. And you cain’t pass. And I plan on runnin’, and sometimes passin’.”
Ever watch John David Booty throw a pick and say to yourself, “I bet that guy’s Wonderlic score sucks.” Take a donut, cavalier: you are correct. Booty got a 14, tied for lowest in the available qb scores in this year’s draft. The other: Andre Woodson. Both are idiots who now, most likely, have more money than you do. Go ask them if they want to play a game of mental acuity with you. At stake? Millions of dollars!
Your retirement problem? Sol-ved, friend.
Cthulu loves UCLA. Bad for you that the many-tentacled one’s love is a harsh, evil, and ultimately crushing one. Pat Cowan out for the season with asploded knee. Gutty Little Bruins only real solace may be in the Nestorwatch, and even that dish comes with a fair amount of heartburn.
They’ll put up a statue of you. And then pull it down with a tank. Former Nebraska AD Steve Pederson–he who fired Frank Solich and hired Bill Callahan, the most brilliant football coach to ever give up seventy points to Kansas–wanted the Saddam treatment, just without the whole botched hanging and downed statuary part.
Pederson telling a former Husker player when success returned at NU that people will “put up a statue of me.” (Pederson, now the A.D. at Pittsburgh, twice declined interview requests for this story through a spokesman.)
Pederson also instituted quarterly performance reviews, the organizational management equivalent of hourly rectal exams. In the Harry Potter books, people like this end up raped by centaurs. That’s a bit too kind, in our opinion. Simple rule: if you want a statue built of yourself and cannot perform a task of great athleticism for money, you are a flaming asshole.
The last time we saw Dick dominate in the air like that, it was the phallic grooveship from the “Come on Ride That Train” video.
The day you take my truck nutz you will have to pry them from my cold dead hands. The Florida Legislature, who only meet for a month a year anyway, have decided to devote time (but no precious oxygen, having no brain cells) to the issue of whether or not to ban truck nutz.
America’s wang, represent please:
In a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senate lawmakers questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories.
Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested.
Our business plan for truck nutz underwear and speedos? Now taking investors. Get in on the ground floor while you can.
“Cameron, you thought you wouldn’t see anything good today. But you got to watch me bagpipe Sloane. You got to watch me strangle a hot dog vendor with a timing belt for looking at me in an odd way. And you got to watch me set fire to a hot air balloon to show your father the true meaning of the tyranny of gravity. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen anything good today.”
From the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off script, as remixed by Orson Swindle.
Ferris promised things. And today, reader, so do we. Today, you get to behold the majesty of the Oregon offensive linemen’s calendar, put together by the husky but powerful men of the Ducks line. The article intro’ing the thing is: well: poetry.
He’s wearing scuba gear, holding a harpoon. The belted, Euro-style swim trunks could have come from James Bond’s wardrobe.
But it isn’t the accessories, or the svelte physique, that make the photograph sizzle.
“My eyes are amazing,” he says. “You can’t teach that.”
Caveat: Before we begin mocking them, let us just say at the start that the Oregon offensive line is now the official EDSBS Offensive Line of Preference for 2008 for doing this. The photos all emit cheek, verve, and a brisk and perverse sense of humor we’ve come to know and love in offensive linemen. The photos are fucking hilarious. Nothing can take away from this, or from the linemen’s bearish charm and willingness to pose semi-clothed for a good cause.
Now: gay jokes and other mockeries.
Nothing we can say can improve this already perfect photo. Further verbiage debases its excellence.
Because you needed to understand no money man can win my love. It’s Wednesday, and you’re looking good in every way.
Don’t you get fresh with me. Now, the rest of the Curious Index.
Rudy Carpenter is having surgery on his thumb.It is the offseason because we are discussing minor surgery set to take place today on Rudy Carpenter’s thumb. This is how you know this. Cap’n Dennis doesn’t seem worried, and neither does anyone else, since it’s all very manageable and nothing at all to worry about, unlike ASU’s impending matchup with Georgia, which is something to worry about. Remember: Rennie Curran swam all the way from Liberia to kick your ass.
Durr! You got it all figured out! [NAME REDACTED] goes public with what everyone suspected anyway, since he’s now a head coach and is trying to prove to everyone how brainy he is.
“Because operator/writers for Internet sites, such as Rivals.com and Scout.com, are the only ones who have unregulated access to recruits when coaches can’t talk to them, it’s an area that’s ripe for corruption.
We hate it when this happens. Next, he’s wearing glasses and reading the Economist, and talking to you about this great article he read on the Congo in Foreign Policy,, and wondering what happened to the original energy that sparked the Dogma 95 movement, and getting the facts all wrong the whole time. (”So, just imagine the balance of power if Italy hadn’t run their colonies in Southeast Asia into the ground in that war with the Japanese!”) Dude, just stay dumb. We loved you that way.
Oh. One moment, please:
Accuracy remains a concern for Williams despite significant improvement from his freshman to sophomore year. He threw only one more touchdown (13) than interception in 2007 and ranked last in the Big Ten in passing efficiency (119.2).
Similar stats won’t cut it this fall, especially after the loss of superstar running back Rashard Mendenhall. Accordingly, Williams is being held to a higher standard.
“I don’t see why he can’t be a 70 percent passer,” Zook said.
Because Juice Williams with Rashard Mendenhall ranked last in the Big Ten in efficiency, and he won’t have Mendenhall there this year? Whew! You had us there for a second, [NAME REDACTED.] There’s the old anvil with legs and a whistle we know and loved. Hated. Whatever.
The Trojans weakest spot: offensive line, according to the Daily Trojan. They only return one starter, but even the new guys know USC does a play-action rollout pass on every freakin’ first down they get. So they’ve got that going for ‘em.
It’s a tiny sample size of six schools, but the stadium with the smallest allotment of seats for students in what appears to be a 15 minute survey of six of the SEC’s stadiums? LSU, who only reserves 13 percent of the stadium for students. In case you wonder which school is most upside down on the small student body/huge stadium ratio, the answer is as you suspected: Alabama.
Aggie Fashion: This concerns me. Texas A&M isn’t where we’d look for fashion advice (and we need it, since we’re stuck in the “Any outfit topped with a brown velvet jacket=liquid sex” look.) And judging from this advice, we’ll continue that policy.
To avoid being late to class, forget fixing your hair - just top off your outfit with a unique hat.
As bad as this advice may sound, it works gangbusters for Swedish soccer fans.
Plus, we’re decimated by injury. At least twenty dollars (in singles) of bonus cash to the person who managed to explain to Larry Munson exactly what Squidbillies is, and what he was going to be saying to whom in the episode.
But yes, that’s Larry Munson as the voice of God. (HT: Thad.)
There’s only two games between the PAC-10 and SEC this season: Georgia at Arizona State, and Tennessee at UCLA. The UCLA game could be an atrocity, but early on it’s not mad to expect the game in Tempe to be a real contest especially given Georgia’s traditionally slow starts and this whole new “going on the road thing” they’re trying out in the SEC. Fortunately, as a Florida fan “going on the road” means flying all the way to goddamn Fayetteville, so we don’t have to worry about these kind of odysseys.
California, Florida, and Texas. Demography rules your football, college fan, whether you like it or not, meaning grumpy Big Ten fans may shake angry fists not just at fate, but at the economy, weather, and the deity of their choice when it comes to protesting the gradual move toward football becoming more of a Sun Belt sport than a Midwestern one. The Big Three represent 26% of the U.S. population, but produce 34% of the talent drafted in the NFL, according to a report by USA Today. (It’s all that running from strip mall to strip mall that does it.)
Chewbacca! BANG. A great reason to fire blindly into a crowd of people: because one of them may, or may not have, called the woman you were with “Chewbacca.” The extremely logical and well-thought out reason for allegedly firing into a group of Cal football players back in 2005 is just part of what sounds like a colossally stupid series of events, excerpted below, that resulted in the death of a young woman shot in the chest:
“I really don’t remember anyone arguing I just remember someone saying no one called you bitches and hoes and then it was over,” Gray said. “I don’t remember no arguing in faces, it was never hostile.”
Others have testified that an argument began after Gray called one of the women a Chewbacca, the name of a large hairy fictional character from the Star Wars trilogy.
Gray said he did not remember calling anyone names although he did remember that his friends told him he called a woman a Chewbacca…
…In doing so, Crenshaw said he heard Willis-Starbuck call someone on her cell phone and demand that the person bring a gun to the feud.
“When I was standing there, she said, `You need to hurry up and come over here with your pistol,’” Crenshaw said referring to Willis-Starbuck’s cell phone conversation. “It was surreal; I looked at her and I thought maybe she was just talking to her phone like that so others could hear her.
After hearing Willis-Starbuck on the phone, Crenshaw said he thought the argument was over because Gray and his friend got into their car to leave.
But as they were driving away, Crenshaw said, two of the women began to yell at Gray, saying he was a scrub.
All perfectly logical. In fact, we attempted to shoot a man for calling us a “Lando wannabe” last night, mostly because it hurt so much BECAUSE IT’S TRUE. We missed and killed a passerby. We regret the error.
Lloyd Carr’s healthis still an issue, even after he’s gone. Carr and Michigan both looked healthy enough in their bowl game, actually. More public shaming of the Florida secondary, as seen below in action.
(No, this will keep up until well into the season, and they show they can defend a simple fucking post route.)
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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