Pete then, according to witness UCngLA from the openly biased folks at Bruins Nation, addressed the crowd with the following opening line, excerpted from the post at BN:

“It’s great to be in this place, to be among all these angels.” And by angels he was referring to the audience.

Pete Carroll will be with you angels in a minute. First he’s got a Palestinian crisis to mediate. Then he’s got Pilates. Then: you, angels.

This is true. We’re taking it as true. Even if it’s not true we’ll never admit it. You angels, you can’t take this away from us. Pete Carroll is the guy who names trees in his yard. Pete Carroll really does ride a golden unicycle. Pete Carroll is the nearly 60 guy with sculpted abs who hangs with Will Ferrell. Pete Carroll really does drive a Range Rover, because you never know when you’ll be called to lead an aid convoy in Darfur. Pete Carroll is the youth pastor who will write a check made out to you with the sum line filled out as “complete happiness,” and sign it with the name “God.” He is Kevin Rawley from Meet the Parents, and is making you a stunning hand-carved gazebo with his own hands as we speak.

Like God, if Pete Carroll didn’t exist, we’d have to make him up.

What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…because Peter Bean is back, Ragin Cajun Rebel is back in the mob where he does his thing, and because tonight we will be discussing one of the greatest questions in the world: Does Notre Dame exist?

Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which remains damn lively–last week one commenter who shall remain nameless but is named Holly from Ladies… called an intruder on the board a cunt. Don’t mess with the parallelogram, y’all.)

To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600.

What: Tonight’s special guests are…Jay from Blue-Gray Sky and Brian Cook from MGoBlog and the Fanhouse. They will face each other in a Lincoln-Douglas Style Debate on the topic: Does Notre Dame exist, and should we care? For two Sun Belt football fans raised on Texas and Florida, this remains a very legitimate question.

Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.

1. 1. ND–do you care? Simple enough–do you care about Notre Dame, ESPN and media borgs be damned?

2. Is the grief ND fans endure proportional to the crimes? We think not, especially given all the unwanted attention they receive when things turn turdulent in South Bend (ex: media hailstorm in 2004/05 surrounding Willingham, Weis, Meyer, etc.)

3. What do you like about ND? If anything? The hellacious student section. If the entire stadium were filled with fans doing what they do, they’d have to make the supports of the superstructure out of Nerf.

4.Would you sleep with a leprechaun? A better question would be “Have we slept with a leprechaun?” Silence defines us here.

See you tonight.

He needs a priest! If only he played for Iowa State, whose attempt to pay for a chaplain to counsel and advise the team has Iowa State administrators fretting over church/state separation, has the ISU Athletic Director on the butt end of a petition from a whopping seven percent of the student body, and has quarterback Bret Meyer telling those concerned about the whole thing to kiss his ass, albeit only in a Christlike way:

‘‘To me, if it’s not going to involve you — the professor making the petition — just mind your own business,’’ Meyer said. ‘‘We’re not hurting you, we’re not bothering you, (so) just leave us alone. It’s unfortunate that they’re trying to make a big deal out of it.

For the record, the chaplain would be paid for out of private funds from the ISU booster club, which means no state funding would be involved in the chaplain’s salary. We at EDSBS only have the following editorial points we would like to offer in response to the story:

–If a chaplain is given an official paid position, then in order to be fair an imam, rabbi, Scientologist with e-Meter and clipboard, priest, Wiccan lesbian priestess with a Dead Can Dance t-shirt, Zen monk, Zoroastrian priest/fire technician, Mormon-type clergyman, Inuit shaman, and Aztec war cleric need to be hired, as well.

–If Iowa State does it, every other single team needs to do it, as well.

–Dibs on Mola Ram, Thuggee cult leader for UF!

–And finally, once this is accomplished, we abolish the Kansas City Tiebreaker and instead substitute a clergy fight at the fifty won by knockout or submission hold. Our money’s on Mola Ram.

(HT:Dave.)

Mola Ram, official cleric of the 2009 National Championship Florida Gators.