Yes, and all of you mighty blog commenters out there, please remove the two flawless, Anita Ekberg 1955 quality women from your huge cocks, flex your immaculate abs, and comment on the young woman’s physique in a negative fashion. That would be something we’ve never heard on the internet before! Break new ground! Be a pioneer! Fear is the enemy of progress!

And then, after the jump, another hot piece of tail from the weekend.

…tiene tremendo CULO!

By hot, we mean temperature-wise. You could bake profiteroles in there. A whole pan of ‘em, we’d guess.

You are warned and aware of the dangers. Proceed only under the understanding that you act of your own volition and understand that EDSBS bears no liability in the matter.

With that, proceed. Good luck, soldier.

Marisa Miller Cheesecake. Visible femoral arteries roaaaarrrrgggh.

Been working on her squats and hamstring curls cheesecake. YEAH! LIMES!

RUB THAT SAUCE INTO THE STAGE BABY! THEN THE RABBIT IN A HAT TRICK! WOOOOOO!

Higher, baby! Higher!

Dim the lights, baby. Hot tub cheesecake not safe in soaks longer than six minutes at level 8.

Wedgie cheesecake really isn’t taking this off, but rather tugging for the camera.

Guys in track pants make my cheesecake warm!

Tasetful IKEA-clad bedspread lounging cheesecake.

WHEW! We need a cigarette and some Gatorade after that!

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend from the entire EDSBS staff.

Plus, we just wanted to do something special for all the ladies of the world.

Click for cheesecake below. It sucks! WAAAAAAH!!!

Madeline Kahn. Mel Brooks cast her in Blazing Saddles only after asking to see her legs at the audition. They tipped her into the lead for the role. If you don’t find the Marlene Dietrich getup and huge synth muff worn in the “I’m So Tired” scene confusing, funny, and attractive all at once, we don’t even know you are anymore.

Sarah Silverman.

She has sex with Jimmy Kimmel, farts a lot, and makes racist jokes. So does Adam Carolla, but he doesn’t look like this when he takes down his pants in a gorilla suit:

Tina.

Pin-up fashion sense. Created 30 Rock. Enslaves dorks on sight. Mysterious scar. We’re in.

Amy Sedaris. Has taken a thousand photos of herself in horrible makeup and surrounded by atrocious home crafts…and still manages to look hot. If that’s not talent, nothing is. Additional bonus: has a stunning pair of natural tits.

Enjoy your weekend. THIS SUCKED! WAAAAAHHHHHHh

Thus, today’s theme: famous ladies with weapons. Enjoy.

Zhang Ziyi

Phenomenal with both swords and curved blades at close range. Possesses a slight edge of craziness in her eye. Really seemed into it when Lo shoves his hand down her pants in the cave scene in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Played a character so possessed with passion and violence in the aforementioned film that she killed herself rather than live. All of these are traits we’d bulletpoint on a resume of hotness.

Vasquez, Aliens

Cast straight from the A-Rod school of female design, yes; however, our admiration springs from her ability to wield one of the baddest guns in movie history, her loving relationship with fellow mad gunner Drake, her pull-up ability, and her decision to blow herself and fifty aliens to hell rather than surrender.

Kate Beckinsale, Underworld.

Two guns. Hundreds of vampires. One indestructible laytex bodysuit.

Rose McGowan, Planet Terror.

Gets a gun attached to her later in the film and is still hot. We present the initial hot pants scene, where McGowan demonstrates excellent lift, separation, and globularity in the buttocks department.

Halle Berry, Die Another Day.

She’s got a dive knife, right? That counts.

Pam Grier, Coffy

Shoots her politician boyfriend in the crotch with a shotgun after he betrays her to the mob. Looks Pam Grier-good the whole time doing it, too.

Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini. Natch.

Proof of the value of a good outfit: Fisher was not that hot, per se, but rather on a leash and scantily clad. Fucked up two generations of young men who destroyed countless drapes, hangers, and soldering irons attempting to craft identical outfit for spouse.

Jeri Ryan, Star Trek Lucrative Spinoff

Yes, she was on Deep Space Nine. She also got into this outfit once for some reason, and her glamazon glory is what matters most here, not how you actually found her, nerd.

Famke Janssen

Not just notable for giving the right amount of measured distance to the fractured soul of Jean Grey in X-Men, but also for having an extremely nice ass. That’s fresh papparazzo kill up there from the Sex And the City premiere, meaning she’s in top form at this very instant.

Angela Bassett, but only in Strange Days.

The boots, the guns, the fact that a character pulls a gun on her, pulls the trigger, and when it clicks harmlessly she looks down and calmly says “Safety’s on.” It’s a moment of hotness for her and a figure-hugging limo driver’s outfit that won’t quit the entire film.

Grace Park, Battlestar Galactica

A renaissance woman in that she is on the cerebral, dark BG, but will also pose in very little clothing for money to further her career. The boots are strictly utilitarian, btw.

Much, much more of her after the jump (NSFWish). Happy leering; see y’all Monday.

AC/DC currents of alternating gayness and raging, uncontrollable straight asslust underlie our crush on Layla: we saw her for the first time not on Raw!, but on Project Runway when the designers all got a universal FAIL in attempting to make outfits for them. Their ineptitude aside (including Christian! UNfierce!), Layla looked like wiggling sex going down the runway, and in a pleasant change from most “hot” women on television, is only slightly underfed.

She also gets attacked in shower catfights and, strictly in the name of professional Diva behavior only, kisses other women. She also has an English accent. We’d say more, but you’re sold and googling in a very unprofessional way already. Mission accomplished.

Maria Bartiromo, MSNBC.

The money honey herself. Oh, sometimes I like my girls a little bit older. I just want to use your love tonight, Maria, but not in any cheap, subprime kind of way. No, you’re classier than that, which might explain the lack of shots of your anal cleft covered only by a pair of hot pants or bikini bottoms on the internet. No matter: I promise heavy investment up front, solid dividends throughout the night, and no going public with this venture until you’re good and ready, baby. I mean, ma’am.

Olivia Munn, G4.

Far too much woman for a channel for geeks, and god bless her for it. She’s on the skinny side, but if you’ve been to DragonCon, geeks will take this in stride. In fact, geeks would take amputees and 320 pound women in corsets in stride, since at DragonCon the scrumpcards of even the homeliest, fly-swarmed slattern looks like waiting list at an exurban Carrabba’s on Friday night. (”Oh, the bread! You gotta have the bread!”)

Gains ample attractiveness points for being endlessly game on a show where she’s paraded around as the sample vagina in a sea of sausage.

Kari Byron.

A reliable basic cable diva whose luster remains brassy, dyed-fake, and geekily enthusiastic. She also has a nice ass.

The rest of her’s lovely to spec, as well.

Handy with power tools, armed with a decent understanding of applied electronics, and sturdy enough to withstand being shocked, burned, jostled, and whatever else we’re leaving off the list. A solid standard on the basic cable hottie circuit who, by being all of those things, sounds prepared for an evening of loving at Casa Swindle.

BONUS!!!: Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. Why she wasn’t on this list first, we’ll never know. We can only plead incompetence, sleep deprivation, and our own constant level of ineptitude.

So accept this as the Redemption Edition, where we just post a bunch of pictures of hot ladies of the blonde persuasion–including Mena Suvari’s outstanding, natural ass. If you complain about any of these ladies anonymously on the internet, then you HAVE A HUGE COCK AND ARE OBVIOUSLY BEYOND WEALTHY. Please post your phone number with your negative comments so that ladies can contact you. (Not that you need it, awash as you are in model trim, stud!)

Blondes We Are Very Fond Of

Mena Suvari. Or at least one half of her.

Genevieve Gorder.

This is a terrible picture, but she can use a hammer, is curvy, and is tall and strong-looking enough to suggest that she’d be a fair tussle in the sack and a good plow woman on the back forty. Trust us: she’s a goddess with a tape measure.

Afterwards, she would redecorate your house and knock out those ugly ceiling fans.

Scarlett Johansson. She’s just ungodly beautiful. Everyone else likes her too, but sometimes large groups make correct decisions. Also in Lost in Translation, which we did not cry audibly and embarrassingly during at least three scenes. (Couldn’t hear! We were finishing reps up and cleaning our gun!)

We had no choice. Nature made us pick her.

Donna Dixon. From Spies Like Us. In this outfit, and this outfit alone.

Sascher-Masoch? What?

Brigitte Bardot. Crazy-ass woman who, in all sixties films, was death or degradation if you slept with her. And yet it just kept happening.

Catherine Deneuve Belle du Jour seen at an impressionable age is an awesome or damaging thing. We have yet to decide which, exactly.

Cindy Morgan, a.k.a. Lacey Underall. Less from the famous topless scenes in Caddyshack, and more from the dinner party scene where she’s biting her thumb at Ty, then flirts with him, and then sleeps with him and realizes that real insanity is something she’s unprepared to experience. (A shocking bit of depth in the middle of the film: she fancies herself to be some exotic sex bomb out for a slumming romp with Danny, but put her with Ty and she’s just another bland bored girl home for the summer from [INSERT EXPENSIVE SCHOOL HERE.])

Blahbeddy-faggy-blah-hah. She’s flaming hot in this instant:

Yup. That’ll screw a kid up for life.

Also: was in Tron in a body suit. TOP SCORE, Cindy Morgan.

Defensive tackle Quinton Wesley, 21, a junior from Atlanta, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after he allegedly shot a gun at a car.

Starting left guard Mike Brown, 21, a senior from Atlanta, was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon, allegedly a .38-caliber Cobra pistol, on school property.

and thus earning seven points in the Fulmer Cup: three for each felony there, and one style point for the creative method of instant messaging chosen by Quinton Wesley. Both, by the way, have been not suspended, or put on some temporary probation, or some other variety of bullshit deferment: they’re GONE, as in banished from Starkville completely. (No jokes about doing them a favor in the process, or how if you lived in Starkville, you’d go shooting random shit, too.)

Horses are hating on dogs, too, and you’re not doing a thing about it.

Everywhere, dude. Haters are everywhere.

The point is: there’s cheesecake to be handled here, and served before it gets warm. First, Vanessa Jeri, a Peruvian model sent to us by Bundameister First Rank Kleph; and then, for those who don’t even bother with faces, two fine selections from Supertangas, the best website on the planet for people who like looking at women’s behinds–and just that, because that’s pretty much your only choice over there.

As always: SFW, but not S(mart)FW, m’kay?

Enjoy your weekend, and for those hoops-inclined types, check out Thirty-Five Seconds for ongoing tourney coverage. And now, bunda.

Then, of course, there’s the swimsuit issue, a flimsy excuse to trot out unholy amounts of cheesecake with increasingly nonexistent clothing to cover it. While there’s much to be said about leaving things up to the imagination, there are some things you just can’t argue with. Like, let’s say, a 23-year-old Tyra Banks bringing polka dots back to the land of sexy.

But though Tyra’s run in 1997 was outstanding, the overall body of work (sorry) was nonpareil the next year. It is no exaggeration to call it the most important publication of my teenage years, right above The Quintessential Calvin and Hobbes and the instruction manual to Street Fighter II Turbo.

Cover girl Heidi Klum was ridiculously hot, yes, but let’s give a nod to the other ladies of the issue as well. Heidi will start us off, and there’s more after the break, including That Look. Every man knows it. As always, work-safe by way of technicality, work-inadvisable by way of common sense.

Fine. Take your bunda early on what is shaping up to be a hectic Friday for us, but it comes in a Gator wrapper, and you have no choice in the matter. God bless Flickr: Gator Girl saved us from having to actually look for bunda this Friday and provided some balm to the burn of dropping from the first round of the SEC tournament. We can’t embed the photo, but the slideshow is here and will satisfy all your needs for cheesecake this friday. (It’s SFW, but not work-smart.)

The jersey pic with the white shorts is particularly whoa. We recommend with force.

For those still wanting pictures with this post, I offer a few after the jump.

If you have any further questions, we believe this link will answer them all.

Your cheesecake comes from the ever reliable reef girls, but first: a musical tribute to culo from Pitbull.

Cheesecake after the jump: enjoy it and your weekends, as well.

I’m not totally sure I’d classify what follows as safe for work. Proceed at your own risk.

In looking for something to supplement LSUFreek’s animated fun, I stumbled across some Cheesecake that fits with today’s theme…

And just because body paint is so much fun, one more…

Happy weekend, motherfuckers.

The biggest hit in Cote D’Ivoire at the moment is “Bobaraba,” a song whose title in the local Djouf means a large and very attractive behind. (Same number of syllables as “Badonkadonk;” deep grammar types, rejoice!) The concept behind (snicker) the song:

“We made it as a tribute to women, because African women are defined by the shape of their bottoms,” he says.

“Move your bottom, jump, you see, it’s alive.”

So, bunda becomes Bobaraba today as we celebrate the ladies of West Africa and Cote d’Ivoire.

BOBARABA! Any video that begins with an exploding logo must be awesome. Feel free to clear the office chairs out and shake your own bobaraba, even if it’s on the flat and caucasoid side.

Additional examples of bobarabage follow after the jump, including one pic of Absolutely Amber, who you’ll agree has an honorary bobaraba.