Stand back and be touched by the whoopin’ stick of greatness: Chris Brown of Smart Football has foolishly agreed to take one user-submitted question a week and give it the full Smart Football treatment for your general football edification. This week’s topic comes from R is for Ramius, who wanted to hear the detailed schpiel about common man and zone blitz schemes. You got it.

Question from R is for Ramius:

Common man-coverage blitz schemes vs zone-coverage blitz schemes…advantages, disadvantages, offensive plays to counter them, etc?

This is one of those simple questions that get to the very core of how defense is played. The blitz — which I’ll define here as any defense that rushes five or more defenders — is where the action is in modern football. Defenses can’t sit back and wait, because offenses are too good, whether it is a run-first spread, a true triple-option squad, or a pass-happy spread (or even, you know, a a pro-style offense).

Moreover, coverage can really only be man-to-man or zone. And teams that focus on one tend not to be so good at the other. So how do they work and what should teams focus on?

Man up. The man-to-man blitz is one of the oldest defenses in football. The defense keeps nobody deep, assigns five-guys in man coverage to the offense’s five eligible receivers, and blitzes the rest. If any of the eligible receivers stay in to block, the defender assigned to them goes ahead and rushes the QB.

Now, the defense isn’t just going to always announce that this is what it is doing. (more…)

Etsy.com is an indie craft site where people may sell hook rugs depicting porno scenes or their own custom Florida Gator blueprint art. It also is an open market for those seeking to commission art both for both the serious collector looking to support independent artists, or the cheap shithead looking for a large picture of Daniel Murray kicking the most significant field goal in recent Iowa football history for $45.00.

Custom football painting for poor college kid
posted 5/15/2009 , expires 6/5/2009
I love Iowa football…thus why not have a fabulous painting of the team. Simple eh? I would like an action shot on a big canvas.
Materials:
Tags: college, iowa, football, iowa city, poor, student
Ideal price: $45.00
Deadline: Aug 30, 2009
Quantity: 1
Ship To: Iowa City, IA 52242
United States

$45.00 will not get you half of a Daniel Moore painting, and we’re not even talking about the clearance ones like “Dennis Franchione: Leading with Pride” or “Mike Shula Spilling Hot Coffee on His Lap While Driving With the Scowling, Disdainful Ghost of Bear Bryant In the Passenger’s Seat.” However, it will get you this Oops Pow Surprise MS Paint Original, Ms. “BamBamra.” The image below is a preview, and can be next day air shipped to you as a painstakingly reproduced digital image on only the finest stock copier paper stolen from the offices of his employer. (Click for big.)

Yes: for just $45 internet sensation and MS Paint master Oops Pow Surprise will send you a custom print of this
important moment in Iowa football history! Contact him at Black Heart, Gold Pants in the next ten minutes, and he’ll throw in a free drive-by punching from a member of the Iowa football team and an autographed and certified authentic Robert Gallery scrunchie at no charge. OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY.

Hey, everyone. Coach Compete here. That’s Pete Carroll, in case you didn’t know. Of the USC Trojans. Sorry I’m late on posting, but I just did four hundred pushups for a local charity that helps crippled chihuahuas quit the gang lifestyle and have more productive lifestyles. I had to dictate a business book while doing it, so it took longer than it normally would. Excuse me.

[picks up phone] No, that’s fine Barry. They’re not serious. Send and envoy, double down on the anti-nuke incentives, and keep up the drone attacks on the borders. If Sy Hersh gets a hold of it, I’ll kick him in the balls for you with some of my South L.A. boys, okay? Sweet. Smack Michelle on the ass for me. Yes, twice just to get all of that sweet hamhock. Laters. [/hangs up]

I’ve got a new kids website I’d like to tell you about. It’s called CampPete.com, and it contains loads of goodies to help kids learn about football, sportsmanship, and the valuable lessons of sportsmanship. It also has a place where your six year old can upload their 40 times, hang clean numbers, and their contact information for Coach Pete to call them personally!

Oh, look, former Mexican Vice President Vicente Fox! Que pasa, Presidente? (more…)

In a former life, we worked with refugees. You may be shocked to hear this, but being a refugee is not the carefree, global-Huck Finn-with-a-knapsack existence you might think it is. It’s certainly not as fun as Bono makes it sound:

Most refugees come from places where governance and common sense have broken down completely, business has ground to a halt, education is scanty at best, and the very mouth of hell itself has opened up and disgorged its contents onto the ground where they live.

Then, having survived that, they get to live in a tent next to other people living off UN crackers and juice for a few years before they are assigned to live in places like Clarkston, Georgia. They then attempt to support their families on nine dollar an hour jobs. It’s better than being killed en masse because of their tribal affiliation, religion, or, you know, just because crazy-ass third world madman thought you needed to die today, but it’s definitely not easy.

They can be very charming people though, and like most people that charm is most evident in their kids, which brings us to the EDSBS Christmas gift. (more…)