It’s like that now. Because it is Friday, and it is Atlanta, and you need to get the hump out of your back now:

They’re not often quotable, but when they are d-linemen are the most quotatious. Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma defensive line behemoth, has the ideal solution for Texas Tech’s habit of throwing tortillas on the field during games.

“They throw tortillas?” McCoy said. “They better not throw me one. I’ll be hungry. I’ll eat it.”

“They need to throw chicken,” he said. “Hey, if they threw fried chicken — shoot, I’ll provoke ‘em on purpose. Aaahhh! Chomp!”

Figuring out the exact spelling of this and whether it complied with the AP Stylebook had to consume at least three minutes of human existence they will never, ever get back. We would judge, but we have to go blow 45 minutes playing Miami Shark now. That is a glorious waste of time, much like watching OK State’s third-string qb Brandon Weeden come off the bench and shred Colorado in the second half of a 31-28 victory in Stillwater. Colorado lead 21-10, but they are Colorado under Dan Hawkins, and thus refunded the lead promptly and efficiently without Mike Gundy having to get all ornery and demanding to see a manager.

Emmanuel Moody out for inconsequential blowout. Moody is out for the FIU game, which would matter if it weren’t Florida International, the cheese-eating multilateralists who claim to represent Florida to the world. When Florida invades Cuba without consulting the United States first in 2013, let’s see where your “diplomacy” is then, eh? < ----seriously Brandon Spikes and Channing Crowder are going down there with a boat full of beer, flare guns, and toilet paper. Should take four days before they are crowned co-consuls of the island.

Present dick turns out to be past dick. Mark Mangino almost got fired 20 years ago from his job coaching high school ball in Pennsylvania for being a profane, abrasive dick, just as he’s being pushed out at Kansas for being a profane, abrasive dick. Rock Chalk Talk thinks it’s merely a matter of time for Mangino’s departure, while Scipio Tex reminds you that “winning is always a sweet cologne on the nastiest funk. Or, in short: he’s fired unless they beat Texas this weekend, and then we’ll think about taking you back, Ike. Um, Mark.

The week, summarized in ALL CAPS: Sports Meme Rankings are up at SBNation. Read them. Love them.

Condolences. Stefanie Spielman, RIP. Donate in her memory here.

Dollar signs. He’s going to Venus. He’s leaving today (or at the end of the season.)

Now that Mark Mangino can now be mocked not for his weight but instead for his serious anger management problem, the digging into the “pattern of behavior” has begun and yielded the richest of all foods, the Time Mark Mangino Tore A New Asshole For A Student Parking Enforcement Officer At A Loading Dock.

I told him this wasn’t relevant to this ticket and he said “This job gives you power, doesn’t it? You feel real fucking powerful walking around like a big shot…He got back in his car eventually, “You just don’t like talking to me because I’m ethnic, just because I talk with my hands.” He then went on to tell me how important he was to this university and how he doesn’t have time to spend dealing with this crap.

The PDF is gripping reading, and more legibly and sensibly written than the column Jason Whitlock filed on the subject. (Mangino’ fatness is crushing his soul, which is heating up beneath the pressure and spilling out in volcanic bursts of rage. Geologically interesting. Logically specious.) The ESPN roundup mentions an incident sparking the player meeting where Mangino “is alleged to have grabbed, yelled at and put his finger in the chest of a player who had been laughing at a walkthrough or practice prior to the Colorado game on Oct. 17.” To be fair, that finger is the size of a ham. Poking it with force could snap a sternum if he wasn’t careful.

Your new pony is Mike Leach. Mike Leach’s mad flirtation of the year could be Louisville, though Dennis Dodd is saying it, and Dennis Dodd is wrong about everything forever. This likely means, on a white board in the offices of the Louisville Athletic Department, there sits a white board with “MIKE LEACH” listed under a big “NO,” but even erroneous rumors are fun to throw around, especially when you think about Leach’s offense cracking a hole in the roof of the Carrier Dome one hypothetical day.

HAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAAH. (inhales) BWAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:

“Tell them to call me,” said Switzer, 72 years old and 12 years out of football. “Tell them I can beat Navy.”

Dunkin’ Donuts would sponsor part of the buyout, ND. We’re not saying think about it, but you know: think about it. Into the trees, into the trees, Irish.

This man.. ..will be shoveling free bullshit for the next two to five years. If you need bullshit, he’s your man, and he will shovel like a champ until your bullshit needs are more than met.

Strong. Rack ‘em. You may want to avoid the Word From Our Sponsors thread, because commenter Play Me A Song Mr. Neuheisel won the whole damn thing by himself with this comment.

Love the dynamic between the domestic beer drinker’s perceived slight versus the craft brew crowd’s need to mention their current drink of choice. As if anyone gives a fuck. Myself, well I’m a malt liquor man. Nothing quite says “I’m going to try to grab your wife’s sweet ass and steal your car while you watch the game” like the 40 OZ of Nightrain I bring to a tailgate. Hell yeah, motherfucker!

Hell yeah, sir. We raise a glass of Thunderbird to you in honor of your fine commenting skills.

We’re glad you understand this, Mr. Black. Coming off another workmanlike 2009 victory, Florida may now only marvel at the glorious work done by its defense in saving Florida’s collective ass again on second hand video on Youtube, since the SEC still fails to understand that embeddable video = free advertising. Watch it while you can!

The victory over South Carolina and their American core values shirts–Integrity, Service, Titties, and Corn Syrup–did take Florida to 9-0, a very different 9-0 than last year’s unstoppable anime monster of team. Some have noticed the admittedly insane complaints, but at least they understand the beast they’re dealing with here.

“They want us to beat every team by 102, and give up no yards and score every time we touch the ball,” safety Ahmad Black said.

Um…yes. That is precisely what we want, because, as the Swindle Theory of Florida Fandom states, the only thing binding Florida fans together is a gleeful sadism. We would like to see someone set on fire and set on fire promptly, thank you very much.

“What is wrong with you?” From the SF Chronicle, who stylishly refers to the 55-21 beating of USC by the Cardinal on Saturday as a “defenestration:”

“What’s your deal? What’s your deal?” Carroll said, according to two sources near enough to hear.

“What’s your deal?” Harbaugh retorted, and that was that.

YOUR MOM! YOUR FACE! The best answer for Harbaugh could have been “Nothing, I’m just infected with WIN, that’s all,” but the heat of the moment boils the wit out of many. Going for two in the fourth quarter standing on a 48 spot to make an even fifty is retort enough, though not quite as good as getting the ball back and getting 55 anyway. Jim Harbaugh fears no man.

Behemoth: the Old Testament’s tastiest meat. The Cornhuskers devoured “behemoth burritos” on the bus after their victory over Kansas Saturday, meaning not only did their effort salt away at least a shot at the anarchic Big 12 North title with a upcoming matchup with K-State, but that the Nebraska training staff feeds their players nothing but the finest Old Testament creature meats. (Next week: Leviathan tapas with sides of real Golem for mineral reuptake after the harsh exertion of a football game.)

Jon Gruden: Staying at ESPN, meaning the especially delusional faction of ND fans will now move on to their next three candidates: Arsene Wenger, Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton, and Uatu the Watcher.

Lacked escapability. Texas kick returner DJ Monroe arrested for DWI EXACTLY 35 HOURS after the game, which is the most delayed celebration penalty ever. < ------ADD SOMETIMES HAS ITS DOWNSIDES KIDS.