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MIAMI QB RIDES FISH AND WAFFLES TO POUNDS OF VICTORY

Jacory Harris of Miami is trying to gain weight the old-fashioned way: by eating himself into a clammy, gibbering stupor at "MLK Restaurant Proudly Specializing in Home Cooked Meals" in Miami. Put...

CURIOUS INDEX, 2/26/09

Orson Charles says he's not coming to Florida. Fuck all y'all. We're outta here. Charles has narrowed his list to Georgia, USC, or Tennessee, who's busy shuffling deck chairs around to clear...

DEAR STEVE: HERE'S A LAMP AND SOME OXYGEN

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may: while West Coast football fans are genetically incapable of caring about football like most other college fans--NOBEL PRIZE!!! NOBEL PRIZE!!!--they still do, in...

FOOTBALL ANALOGIZING: THE LEAD OPTION OF A DRUNK EVENING IN DC IN 2004

Football is like life: it has a playbook, and when it breaks down, people get hurt. Enjoy. The play begins thusly. We play the part of the quarterback, labeled here as O/S. The idea: to...

NICK SABAN!!! LIVE! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!

For just $35, you and your loved ones can get your faces rocked off by the Dark Lord of Rock himself: NICK SABAN. That's only a dollar per soul-scorching glare! Or fifty cents per use of the word...

CURIOUS INDEX, 2/25/09

He's made a mistake, and he's sorry for it OH GOD RANDOM PITBULL ATTACK. Frank Beamer invites attack from the Pit Bull Mafia for continuing to have Mike Vick's back after his conviction on...

FULMER CUP: THE BIG BOARD

The board, late but still here courtesy of Brian. (Who, yes, is Mandingoesque in the manner of Reggie Nelson.) Remember that Florida's points may go up--Carl Johnson's hearing has been moved on a...

GUEST COLUMNIST: HONDURAN CHILD LABORER

Until this week, I worked 14 hour days at a Russell Athletic plant outside of Tegucigalpa, Honduras. It was brutal work: paid substandard wages, abused by adult overseers, and forced to do...

FULMER CUPDATE: FLORIDA, UVA, AND WAZZOU ALL MAKE THE BOARD

The Big Board is presented this week by Hosea Williams Bail Bonding: Still Settin' 'Em Free after All These Years. Conveniently located at the Garnett MARTA station and adjacent to the Dekalb...

CARNIVALE! HAPPY MARDI GRAS TO YOU ALL

Happy Mardi Gras to you all. In case you live in one of those drab, soulless portions of the country unfamiliar with Mardi Gras (that's French for "My, you have oddly shaped nipples, but thank you...

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