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Unsold tickets? Run a nostalgia play, UFAA!

So it's come to this. UFAA resorts to lame "mini plans," offering tickets to one or two potentially exciting (?) Gator games packaged together with tickets to the EMU, EKU and/or Idaho games, in order to boost ticket sales.

I have a suggestion to get those Emu/Eku (Oprah? Uma!) tickets sold. The athletic office needs to look at the success of various summer concert series. What's reliably selling every summer? Nostalgia. Jimmy Buffett, some amalgamation of Beach Boys. The "Retro Futura" Tour -- Parts of the Thompson Twins and Katrina & the Waves. Howard Jones. Midge Ure. "REPLAY AMERICA" -- Naked Eyes (who play three songs, I'm told -- and yes, you can guess which three). Some Go-Gos. The Motels. Scandal. Cutting Crew!

Nostalgia moves tickets.

So how to apply the concept to Florida Football 2014?

Two words: PASS OUTS.

"UFAA is excited to announce changes to its stadium "pass out" policy for the 2014 Gators football season. For a limited number of home games, ticket-holders will be permitted to have their hand stamped by a sweet little old lady at any North Gate when the game reaches the second quarter. Returning fans will be permitted to re-enter the stadium by presenting their ticket stub and a stamped hand.

This policy applies only to the EMU, EKU, and Idaho games. The alumni center will be selling Foster's oil cans under a sweltering tent for those fans who wish to take their nostalgia to the next level.

UFAA reminds Gator fans that the groove is, indeed, in the heart."

Or they could bring back the Astroturf I guess.

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