CASTING THE ROLES OF A COLLEGE FOOTBALL LIFETIME

Kevin Winter

WE'RE GONNA MAKE MOST OF THIS BACK OVERSEAS I ASSUME

The good/troubled folks over at Good Bull Hunting have been working hard to figure out who should play Nick Saban in a movie about his tenure at Alabama, a noble pursuit because Gary Busey certainly needs the money. But we can't help but wonder - why are we so obsessed with making movies about Crimson Tide coaches? What about all the other stories out there waiting to be told? Let's get to work finding the thespians ready to bring other coaching legends to life on the big screen.

DANA HOLGORSEN as played by Bobcat Goldthwait in Casino Battle Royale

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BRADY HOKE as played by Wayne Knight in Man of La Pizza

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JIM L. MORA as played by Steve Carell in They Kill Trojans, Don't They?

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MARK RICHT as played by Mark Harmon in This Movie Is Extremely Popular With Upper Middle Class White Moms

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TOMMY TUBERVILLE as played by John Slattery in Dine 'n Dash Dad

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DABO SWINNEY as played by Ed Norton in Death To Smoochy 2: Smoochy's Rock

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BOB DAVIE as played by Meryl Streep in Heckuva Footbaw Colch. (Meryl wins the Oscar, of course.)

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BILL SNYDER as played by Max Von Sydow in Recruiting Visit with the Vampire

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URBAN MEYER as played by Robert Patrick in Urbanator 5: Give The Fucking Ball To Carlos Hyde

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CHRIS PETERSEN as played by Sean Connery in I'm The Man Now, Dawg

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(seriously just say "Washington Huskies" in Connery's voice a few times and this casting makes total sense)

GEORGE O'LEARY as played by Brian Dennehy in Crusty Ole Fartbag: The True* Story of George O'Leary

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AL GOLDEN as played by Vince Vaughn in Things Were Much Better In The Late 1990s

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STEVE SPURRIER as played by Delta Burke in Well You Wear What Works For Your Figure, Phil

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