THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: STEVE SPURRIER, MASTERS CHAMPION

USA TODAY Sports

THIS IS WHY STEVE SPURRIER WILL WIN THE MASTERS

1. He's already marked the course as his own.

2. He's got a winning streak going against Tigers. (We know he's not playing but it's a confidence thing, man.)

3. Rotating caddies keeps them on their toes.

4. If it's UGA grad Bubba Watson and him at the end Spurrier will beat him by at least three touchdowns.

5. Additionally, ain't no way he's losing to Georgia twice in a season.

6. As long as Nick Saban doesn't show up he'll have the best short game in the field.

7. What you need on the back nine is a good pass rush and to run the ball wait what sport is this? aw hell, fuck it, whatever, winnin' is winnin'.

8. You know spurrier likes his lawn freshly mown, if you get my meanin'. Ladies.

9. He doesn't care how old Arnold Palmer is. If he's out there and doesn't hit it past the first tee, those pants have got to come off for the duration of the hole. We've all seen old men with their pants down, at least those of us who ever stayed in a hotel with Jackie Sherrill, at least.

10. Once the shirt comes off around the 12th hole, you're fucked.

(Via Paul)

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