WHO WILL BE THE NEXT COLLEGE COACH/NFL SUCCESS STORY?

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

WE HAVE AN ANSWER

Right. So here we are, a day shy of Pete Carroll becoming just the third coach to win both a college football national title and a Super Bowl. Now what you're thinking, if you're an NFL owner, is this: because I have no imagination, and run a business with virtually guaranteed profits, how can I do exactly what Seattle did? How do I, NFL owner, find that next college coach with NFL DNA, take him from the college ranks, and place him in just the position to almost succeed, and make it look as if we, the franchise, are almost trying to win?

More importantly, how can I do this without spending any money?

The answer is clear. You need a model that believes in running the ball, and then punting that ball. You need a coaching model that knows how to go 9-7 in THE LEAGUE, and give just enough hope that your team might be just seconds away from turning a corner it will never, ever reach. You need a college coach with that collegiate rah-rah enthusiasm and yet the grudge-y, drudge-y workaday demeanor of a committed league doombot.

You need an answer, and that answer is clear.

Dm_110927_ncf_muschamp_sot_medium

He's available for no money down and moving expenses. Think of him as Meat Carroll, both because he is a college coach just waiting to get back to the NFL, and also because he is now literally most valuable when sold as meat.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker