THE CURIOUS INDEX, 1/3/2013

Kevin C. Cox

FEISTY BOB IS THE BEST BOB

BOOM

As Bill C puts it, Feisty Bob really is the best Bob, especially when his defense sacks A.J. McCarron seven times, picks up turnovers, and Trevor Knight morphs into the second coming of Johnny Manziel. Oklahoma became the second team in as many days to win an upset in which they were at least two TD underdogs, following the example of UCF, and proving that 2014 is already trending to be a year for cranky old bastards like Bob Stoops and George O'Leary. There will be scotch, some light fishing, and maybe a few diatribes about that shithead down the street who won't stop using his damn lawn as a parking lot for his pickup trucks. Ruining the real estate values for the whole damn neighborhood, that bastard is.

ALSO ON SCENE: Brian Phillips was there, watching Nick Saban fall asleep in his barcalounger.

BREVITY IS IMPORTANT.

It's a kind of Big 12 solidarity, at least. And maybe Case was laughing at what we were laughing at: Derrick Henry, who had eight carries for one hundred yards and a single reception for 61 yards and a TD, only getting eight carries while the Alabama offensive line cartwheeled backward against the OU pass rush. Alabama's great strength has always been sticking to the gameplan no matter the situation--like, even during snacktime, 3:15 p.m. Central Time, some random Thursday n the offseason--but that's also one of their few weaknesses. You have a dude NO ONE wants a part of just sitting there while A.J. McCarron is getting slaughtered, but that's what happens when you're overly loyal to the plan, and your opponent just happens to have a much, much better one.

IT WAS ALWAYS TEMPORARY. The best possible Bill O'Brien coping strategy comes from Slow States, who gets downright Taoist about it. (Maybe play this behind it for maximum effect.)

ERRRRRNGE BURRRRRLLLLL PREVIEWS. Eleven Warriors has it as a coin flip between two teams with little time for defense, which, yeah. Bill C has field position and the Ohio State run game as the key factors in a likely Buckeye victory, and Shakin' the Southland describes the Ohio State defense as "poor," which is also very accurate. LGHL is painfully honest in noting that Ohio State is 2-9 in bowl games in the state of Florida, meaning that they still adhere to Woody Hayes refusal to take anti-malarials "because germs are a lie."

ETC: Don't ever fall off the back of a lobster boat.

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