THE CURIOUS INDEX, 01/02/2014

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

WE ARE SENDING YOU THIS ON PACIFIC TIME, SO SHUT UP IT'S EARLY FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE

BIG GAME BOB'S BIG GAME. Bill C. has the thoroughest Sugar Bowl breakdown you'll find, and he even includes some reasons the Sooners might win, like 1) they keep the backfield clear on offense and 2) maybe a sorcerer will aid them!

DECLARATIVE STATEMENTS. Teddy Bridgewater's headed to the NFL, and so is Jadeveon Clowney. We hope they wreck shit while they are there, because we always hope awesome college players wreck shit in the NFL. Hell, we even root for RGIII to wreck shit, and he's paid by one of the worst owners of anything ever. That neighbor of yours who owns the '68 Dodge Dart that hasn't run in years and now has a family of feral cats living in it? A better owner than Dan Snyder.

ART BRILES IS DEFINITELY (SOMETHING). These sources say Art Briles is open to talking with Texas about their opening and would even be willing to take the job. And these sources say Art Briles isn't leaving Baylor no way no sir. Just more proof that the Internet encourages sloppy and inaccurate reporting, which never occurred when we relied on the brave men and women of print media.

ALL COACHES ARE FUTURE FORMER COACHES. THAT'S RIGHT BAMA THE BROWNS DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO YOUR COACH THEY WANNA GET ON THE GUS BUS WAR DAMN NFL SHIELD

ETC. Gone too soon, dammit. (does sad Carlton)

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