THE TEXAS TECH FOX RELEASES A STATEMENT

LAUGH, HUMANS. WE LAUGH BACK.

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Oh you can keep looking. I welcome it. Relish it. Listening to you clank around with your loud flat human feet on the bleachers. Setting traps filled with food I hate. Woof woofing in your strange tongue. Oh, it is a farce, and I am the audience. And so you know: this audience is laughing. Oh, how we laugh at you.

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No one has ever said "crazy like a human," right? This is correct. This dance we do, fox hunters of Lubbock: it is the sweetest tango for me. I shall watch you flail away at the darkness while I raise my children in your football palace. You shall curse when you find your hottest of dogs stolen from your freezers. I shall laugh as I eat them with my young! Oh how we shall laugh.

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So try and find us if you dare. A thousand hounds shall not find a trace of us. You think you have locked us in the stadium.

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But in truth, you are locked in here with us.

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