THE CURIOUS INDEX, 08/21/2013

Kim Klement-US PRESSWIRE

JOKER PHILLIPS IS A DANGER TO HIMSELF AND OTHERS

FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Are you in public? Do you have a heart or lung issue? Are you pregnant, or possibly pregnant? If you answered yes to any of these, do not look at the below:

NO. Somebody please replace Joker's iPad with an Etch-A-Sketch.

THESE ARE JUST RUMORS. Nobody at Oklahoma has confirmed the rumors that Trevor Knight, and not Blake Bell, is going to be the new starting QB for the Sooners. There's still a bit of time to decide, and Bob Stoops has proven he's not interested in doing whatever makes the public happy. He'll start an injured parakeet at quarterback if he feels like it, because that parakeet appreciates the opportunity to get an education and better himself.

USC IS HIDING SOMETHING. It's very easy to say, "no, Silas Redd did not get picked up at the airport by Snoop Dogg," but what about the rest of his trip? How do we know Suge Knight didn't take him out for fondue? Are we really to believe DJ Yella didn't "accidentally" slip him two tickets to Pageant of the Masters? GET THAT HAMMER READY, EMMERT.

THE LIVING DEATH. Mack Brown will leave when he's ready to leave, and oh god Mack Brown's never going to leave is he? You don't even want to think what those teeth will look like in 2087.

NO HAWG ON THANKSGIVING. We're getting the 2014 SEC schedule soon, and it will reportedly not include LSU-Arkansas the day after Thanksgiving. Maybe this is because Bret Bielema refuses to wear a shirt for 24 hours before or after Turkey Day. Maybe it's okay no it's that first reason.

ETC. Bunkie. Rick Muscles. Wright Thompson. THE INTERVIEW OF YOUR DREAMS IS NOW HERE.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker