THE CURIOUS INDEX, 8/20/2013

USA TODAY Sports

HEY LADIES AND ALSO HIPSTERS: KK IS WAITING FOR YOU

VOTE NOW, INFLUENCERS AND DISRUPTORS. A full lecture by Kliff Kingsbury at SXSW is waiting for you.

FRANK BEAMER'S PEOPLE DONE SHOT UP THE COURTHOUSE. It's from 2010, but if you've never read the extremely badass story of Frank Beamer's family, and the time they really did shoot up a courthouse, then do that, because Frank Beamer is so much harder than you will ever be.

NUKED FROM ORBIT. Houston Nutt said a lot of Hugh Freeze's success came as a result of his recruiting, and it's fun when things like that are said because people like Neil McReady get to absolutely fucking destroy said things. (Start at 15:00.)

CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT WHEN DEFINING SUCCESS. For instance, there are certain data sets where Tim Tebow is the most successful pro quarterback in his peer group. You're choking on a piece of food after reading that, and you're welcome for the microintervention on your lifelong overeating binge, fatty. <---from upcoming weightloss book "Scoff Yourself Thin."

HE IS THAT GOOD DON'T ASK HOW WE KNOW. And if Louisville were in the ACC this year, it'd look a lot better for the indomitable Teddy Bridgewater.

ALL THAT MAJESTY. Look at it. Look at all of it.

ETC: We will always have time for you, old bongo-playing friend. Oh, man, people used to be so much better at being sexist. Aim for the moon, and the worst thing that will happen is oh yeah that. WATCH HIS EAR IT'S WEIRD. Nick Offerman peeing on things with a fake penis. (NSFW)

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