THE CURIOUS INDEX, 07/01/2013

THIS IS THE WORST REMAKE OF THE WARRIORS EVER

PLEASE SEE ME AFTER CLASS. These are definitely some of the teams in your conference, UConn. Oh, did we mention it's also ACC Day?

Fx9xcb4_medium_medium

STOP IT. Four unnamed Commodores were booted off the team late last week in connection with a sex crimes investigation, and, after noting that these unnamed suspects are entitled to a presumption of innocence, etc. etc. legal stuff, let us say this: stop it. We are firmly in the "college is a place for 18-22 year olds, 18-22 year olds do stupid things, therefore college is a place for stupid things" camp, but nonconsensual sexual contact is not within that syllogism. So stop it.

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. See, drunk scootering is a crime at which we can all comfortably chuckle. Hopefully the young man's learned his lesson and will make smarter choices in the future, like drunk rollerblading home from parties. (You will fall, and you will scrape everything, but you will not get a DUI.) On the other hand, maybe we should deport this punter now to keep him from his inevitable destiny as America's next serial murderer.

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. There's still plenty of meat left on that beaver. You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato - baby, you got a stew goin'!

THE RULES ARE SIMPLE. You wanna fight with a fellow Husker? Fine. You wanna use a blunt instrument? Also fine. But the minute you incorporate a bottle, you are off this team, because Bo Pelini was planning to pickle beets in that, dammit.

ETC. Our freedoms are being taken from us, one caramel coated boob at a time. Is there a good reason you haven't Run The Jewels by now? These all mean entirely different things when done by Berlusconi.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker