WEEKEND ASSIGNMENTS

Kim Klement-US PRESSWIRE

HEY STUDY UP WE'RE SORT OF ALMOST TO FOOTBALL

Since we don't do the Digital Viking anymore, we'll just prep you for football instead, which will be with us in 70 days or so. SEVENTY. YOU CAN COUNT THAT HIGH. IT'S NOT A LOT FOR A MEAL AND THAT'S A SMALL NUMBER. PRACTICALLY A DAY OF PASSING FOR THE FLORIDA OFFENSE.

Watch these:

1. Mike Gundy on screens/shovel passes/options/plays that are really dickish for defensive ends

The fun part of this one is watching the running back fool the end into biting like hell on screens, and listening to Mike Gundy say CHAAAAIIIIIIIYYYUUUUNS.

2. Alex GIbbs calling an offensive lineman a fatass and explaining zone blocking

Alex Gibbs cannot breathe without profanity, just one of the reasons he is one of the best offensive line coaches of all time. "That's the MVP of the league, and I promise you when he came off the field I ripped his nuts."

3. Bud Foster waterskiing

This doesn't explain anything about Bud Foster's ability to craft defenses year in and year out. OR DOES IT?

Read this:

The Disciples of St. Darrell, Dan Jenkins. Mmm, casual drunk driving in the era of American greatness, and also Texas football.

The Texas Tech Vertical Passing Game, Dana Holgorsen. Naked aggression, but Dana doesn't like any other kind.

THE WEIRD-ASS 3-5-3. If Joe Lee Dunn was down with it you need to only enter if certifiably mad, but you've been warned.

THIS IS NOT HERE

You wouldn't want to watch the 2000 National Title game to remind you Bob Stoops was once really good in big games, even if the whole thing was on Youtube. Nope. Not one bit.

Do this:

Go buy Charles Portis' Dog of the South, because it is fucking funny, and because there is no football on.

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