MARSHALL GIVES US A REASON TO BELIEVE

LAUNCHING A BARRAGE OF GREATNESS ONE UNSANITARY BOTTLE ROCKET AT A TIME

Phil Steele has already decided that Marshall, of all teams, will be one of the most improved teams in the nation. This is somewhat odd, as other have already pointed out, because the Herd are completely reshuffling their coaching staff, have a somewhat challenging schedule, and are coming off a 5-7 season. (They do play UTSA at home! The Roadrunners! Coached by Larry Coker, who won a national title, and has jewelry and stuff to prove it! Life is weird!)

So if the universe could give us just one thing to confirm that Marshall was awesome, in any way, and in any sport--
Helmburg, who played for Marshall University’s baseball team at the time but wasn’t on the Thundering Herd’s 2013 roster, claimed Hughes became intoxicated and attempted to "shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck."

Better still, the portion of the lawsuit filed by someone against Marshall who was "startled" by the sight of a man drunkenly firing bottle rockets out of his ass has been dismissed. In summary: a member of the Marshall baseball team (not on the roster at the time, but whatever) fired small explosives from his anus, got it into one of the greatest URLs of all time (marshall-u-dismissed-from-bottle-rocket-shot-out-of-anus-lawsuit), and then having a legal authority basically say, "Well, that's something you could reasonable expect to see at Marshall University, and therefore ain't their fault.*" Marshall is winning ten games, and we need no further reasons why.

*Shut up with legal facts and opinions THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE JUDGE MEANT.

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